Local Govt | National News Video | Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Search

 


“A living nightmare”

“A living nightmare”

Theresa* would get texts constantly from John*. They said he loved and missed her, wondering what she was doing, and where she was. Theresa saw this as John being loving and caring, but he was actually monitoring her all the time. John started to isolate Theresa from her family and friends, making excuses like he didn’t like them or their influence on her. He also started to accuse her of having affairs. She had to justify and explain every phone call or visit to John.

When Theresa became pregnant with Logan, John’s behaviour grew more controlling. He questioned her constantly and wanted to see receipts for every expense. Theresa became expert at reading his moods and adjusted her responses accordingly. When Logan was born, the first time John slaps her is when she has been trying to manage a new baby and meet his unreasonable demands and is exhausted.

John presented as a good partner and father when out in public. For Theresa his behaviour became almost “normal” and she managed the best she could. She felt tired all the time and isolated. He had convinced her there was something wrong with her. Her levels of fear fluctuate depending on the situation.

Her son Logan often witnesses screaming. Both mother and child become anxious and hyper-vigilant. This abuse continues over the next few years, when Mandy is born it gets worse again with physical abuse every 2 to 3 months. John always apologizes and promises not to do it again but after a few weeks the cycle of abuse starts up all over again. Theresa has never called the police as she does not want John to get into trouble. Theresa is now beyond exhausted - she is completely overwhelmed and concerned for her children and their wellbeing. She would like to leave but feels fearful and trapped. Leaving the relationship is often the most dangerous time as violence and controlling behaviour will often increase and escalate.

It is a huge relief when Theresa can talk to a worker about the abuse. She does not feel judged, her experience is validated and she is treated with kindness and dignity. Theresa is referred her to the social worker, where she learns about abuse from an educative base, is given options, a safety plan and is fully informed about legal aspects. She now realises the abuse is not her fault and that it is about John’s need for power and control over her. Theresa is learning about the effects of domestic abuse on children and is supported to keep the children safe. She also is informed about parenting orders, protections orders and WINZ entitlements.

3 years on, Theresa has moved away from her abusive partner and we continue to support her. She was referred to the women’s programme “It’s All About Me” and eventually reconnected with family and friends. If you, or someone you know, could be experiencing domestic violence and would like to talk to someone about it, call the North Shore Women’s Centre on 09 444 4618.


© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines

#SaveCampbellLive : Mediaworks Delivered 104,000 Petition Signatures At TV3's Newton HQ
#PonyTailGate #TailGate Full Coverage

Pukeahu Park : ANZAC 100th Anniversary Dawn Service In Pictures

Roughly 18,000 people gathered this morning at Pukeahu Memorial Park for the Anzac day centenary. Anticipating the large turnout, patrons arrived as early as 4.30. It was virtually impossible to get near the Memorial after 5am. By 6, the crowds on Taranaki Street had stretched as far back as the Z Petrol station.

The screens erected around the park displayed the live events to those who had turned up. The heat generated by the huge number of people caused many to take a turn. Medics and ambulances were on hand for the fainting crowd members. Only twenty minutes into the ceremony, one medic said they had already dealt with 15 to 20 spells. More>>

 

PARLIAMENT TODAY:

War: What’s To Commemorate?

Gordon Campbell in Werewolf: Is there anything that can be validly commemorated on this 100th anniversary of Gallipoli? Beyond, that is, a fleeting sense of empathy with the thousands of soldiers killed or wounded on April 25 1915 and in the months thereafter, until the whole thing was finally called off in December 1915. More>>

MORE IN WEREWOLF:

ALSO:

Peter Ellis Case: Minister Declines Request For Commission Of Inquiry

Justice Minister Amy Adams has declined a request from supporters of Peter Ellis for a Commission of Inquiry on the basis that an inquiry cannot be used to determine the liability of any person. More>>

Quakes: New Process For Red Zone Crown Offers

Canterbury Earthquake Recovery Minister Gerry Brownlee has announced a process to give everyone a say on the Crown offers to owners of vacant, commercial/industrial and uninsured properties in the Residential Red Zone. More>>

ALSO:

Gordon Campbell: On The Battle Obama Is Waging Over The TPP

For the past two and a half years, this column has been arguing that the fate of the Trans Pacific Partnership (TPP) deal will hinge on whether US President Barack Obama can win Trade Promotion Authority (TPA) from Congress... Last week, the White House finally, finally unveiled a draft TPA Bill. More>>

ALSO:

Greens: Govt Breaks Free Doctors Visit Promise To Kids

Documents obtained by the Green Party show that the Government decided to fund only 90 percent of doctors’ visits for children suffering from an injury in an attempt trim the cost of the so-called “free” visits. More>>

ALSO:

Other Wars: Extension Of NZDF Commitment In Afghanistan

The New Zealand Defence Force’s commitment of mentors and support staff to the Afghan National Army Officer Academy in Afghanistan has been extended out to December 2016, Defence Minister Gerry Brownlee says. More>>

PM's Press Conference: Auckland Property Prices Increasing "Too Rapidly"

John Key accepted that Auckland property prices 'are going up too rapidly” in a press conference held today in Wellington, however he said that this is not anything new. More>>

ALSO:

Press Conference: ANZAC PMs Concerned About ISIL Bringing The War Home

Prime Minister Key and Prime Minister Abbott spoke of the bond formed between Australia and New Zealand in the “baptism of fire” of Gallipoli. Abbott stated that New Zealand and Australia’s values and interests are linked, and this is reflected in the joint operation in Iraq which will begin shortly. More>>

ALSO:

Get More From Scoop

 

LATEST HEADLINES

 
 
 
 
 
 
More RSS  RSS News AlertsNews Alerts
 
 
 
Regional
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news