Local Govt | National News Video | Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Search

 


“A living nightmare”

“A living nightmare”

Theresa* would get texts constantly from John*. They said he loved and missed her, wondering what she was doing, and where she was. Theresa saw this as John being loving and caring, but he was actually monitoring her all the time. John started to isolate Theresa from her family and friends, making excuses like he didn’t like them or their influence on her. He also started to accuse her of having affairs. She had to justify and explain every phone call or visit to John.

When Theresa became pregnant with Logan, John’s behaviour grew more controlling. He questioned her constantly and wanted to see receipts for every expense. Theresa became expert at reading his moods and adjusted her responses accordingly. When Logan was born, the first time John slaps her is when she has been trying to manage a new baby and meet his unreasonable demands and is exhausted.

John presented as a good partner and father when out in public. For Theresa his behaviour became almost “normal” and she managed the best she could. She felt tired all the time and isolated. He had convinced her there was something wrong with her. Her levels of fear fluctuate depending on the situation.

Her son Logan often witnesses screaming. Both mother and child become anxious and hyper-vigilant. This abuse continues over the next few years, when Mandy is born it gets worse again with physical abuse every 2 to 3 months. John always apologizes and promises not to do it again but after a few weeks the cycle of abuse starts up all over again. Theresa has never called the police as she does not want John to get into trouble. Theresa is now beyond exhausted - she is completely overwhelmed and concerned for her children and their wellbeing. She would like to leave but feels fearful and trapped. Leaving the relationship is often the most dangerous time as violence and controlling behaviour will often increase and escalate.

It is a huge relief when Theresa can talk to a worker about the abuse. She does not feel judged, her experience is validated and she is treated with kindness and dignity. Theresa is referred her to the social worker, where she learns about abuse from an educative base, is given options, a safety plan and is fully informed about legal aspects. She now realises the abuse is not her fault and that it is about John’s need for power and control over her. Theresa is learning about the effects of domestic abuse on children and is supported to keep the children safe. She also is informed about parenting orders, protections orders and WINZ entitlements.

3 years on, Theresa has moved away from her abusive partner and we continue to support her. She was referred to the women’s programme “It’s All About Me” and eventually reconnected with family and friends. If you, or someone you know, could be experiencing domestic violence and would like to talk to someone about it, call the North Shore Women’s Centre on 09 444 4618.


© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines

 

State Investments Management: Treasury Likes IRD, Not Education Or Corrections

The Inland Revenue Department has scored an 'A' in the first tranche of the Treasury's investor confidence rating for state agencies that manage significant Crown investments and assets, gaining greater autonomy as a result, while the Corrections and Education ministries gained a 'C' rating. More>>

ALSO:

Govt Goal: NZ To Be "Predator Free" By 2050

Prime Minister John Key has today announced the Government has adopted the goal of New Zealand becoming Predator Free by 2050... “That’s why we have adopted this goal. Our ambition is that by 2050 every single part of New Zealand will be completely free of rats, stoats and possums." More>>

ALSO:

Gordon Campbell: On The IOC’s Treatment Of Russian Sport, And Lone Wolf Terrorism

A blanket ban on Russian athletes would also have exposed the IOC to criticism that its treatment of Russia would have been marked contrast to its treatment say, of the track and field team from Kenya – a country about which the IOC has very similar doping concerns. More>>

ALSO:

Sounds Like A Plan: Auckland Council Receives Unitary Plan Recommendations

A key milestone in New Zealand planning history was reached today when the Independent Hearings Panel delivered the reports containing its recommendations on the Proposed Auckland Unitary Plan. More>>

ALSO:

National Park Expansion: Forests And Coast Of Kahurangi Protected

Five parcels of high value land totalling more than 890 hectares have been formally gazetted as part of the National Park. More>>

ALSO:

PPP Go-Ahead: SkyPath Gets Unanimous Support

Auckland’s SkyPath project has been given the go-ahead to be delivered through a public private partnership, after a unanimous decision at today’s Finance and Performance Committee. More>>

ALSO:

Gordon Campbell: On The Reserve Bank, The UN Shortlist, And Trump

Can there really be there any link between the US presidential elections and yesterday’s RBNZ signals on interest rates and the NZ dollar? Well, maybe. And it would be this: the improving US economy is reportedly putting a tailwind behind the US dollar, and rendering the actions of our Reserve Bank virtually irrelevant. More>>

ALSO:

Gordon Campbell: On What John Key Should Be Asking Joe Biden

No doubt, US Vice-President Joe Biden will be updating Prime Minister John Key on the chances of a TPP vote taking place in the ‘ lame duck’ session of Congress that’s held between the November’s election and the inauguration of a new President in January. More>>

ALSO:

Get More From Scoop

 

LATEST HEADLINES

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Regional
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news