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Signed Richardson lycra suit to be auctioned

14 February 2006

Richie Retires From Racing
Beige Brigade to auction off signed sweaty lycra suit

The Beige Brigade will auction off Mark Richardson’s lycra suit following his final sprint in the innings break of the Twenty20 match between New Zealand and the West Indies on Thursday night at Eden Park.

In his final showdown, Richardson will race motor mouth Tony Veitch, Blues players John Afoa and Jerome Kaino, and former hockey star Anna Lawrence. “I’m extremely confident of going out on a winning note,” he said. “And even if I lose, I know I will definitely look the best.”

After the race the beige lycra suit will be signed by Richardson, and auctioned unwashed on Trade Me. A photo of the winning bidder with Richardson will also be included as part of the deal. Proceeds from the auction will be donated to the IHC.

Richardson said he was retiring from racing in the Beige Brigade lycra suit because he was finding it hard to maintain his credibility as a serious cricket commentator. “It’s a big ask expecting people to believe what you’re saying in the commentary box and then you’re frolicking around in a skin tight suit at half-time. I’ve just got to let it go.”

Beige Brigade ‘gutted’

Beige Brigade co-founder Mike Lane said it was bitterly disappointing to see the back (and the front) of Richardson’s career in the lycra suit, but that there were some serious contenders for the slowcoach mantle in the current team.

“We’re gutted that it’s coming to an end as Richie has been a great advertisement for the renaissance of beige and the return of lycra. However we have it on excellent authority that Stephen Fleming is now the slowest over 100 metres in the team,” said Lane. “If he needs to exercise his powers of delegation then either Kyle Mills or Jeetan Patel should be groomed for the snail race sprint.”

Once the new sprinter is confirmed, he said the Beige Brigade would come up with a suitable fashion item to be worn. “It won’t be the same as Richie’s suit, but it’s fair to say that it will have been inspired by it,” he said.

Fellow co-founder Paul Ford said another option would be to have a swimming race. “From all accounts Daniel Vettori is the New Zealand team’s version of Eric the Eel so it would be relatively amusing to see him don his budgie smugglers for a swimming race against one of the West Indians in March. Food for thought perhaps.”

In his international career Richardson was notorious for his pedestrian movement around the field and between the wickets. This lack of pace was celebrated with sprint races in lycra against the slowest member of the opposition team at the conclusion of each series. He fashioned a mediocre record with wins over Danish Kaneria (Pakistan), Darren Lehmann and a loss to the HMS Giles (Ashley Giles from England).


A beige-clad New Zealand plays the West Indies in the tour opener starting at 7pm tomorrow. The Beige Brigade is surprised the team is wearing beige again, especially as NZ Cricket told us last year’s match in beige was a one-off.

It is great to see that the beige has caught on well and truly. We are stoked to have started something which has been extraordinary. Of course it is no surprise that the dull old cricket authorities have climbed aboard the beige bandwagon. For us, Thursday night is not about beige it is about saluting one of our great cricketing sons, Chris Cairns. See you there.



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