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Romance in the Real World

Media Statement – for immediate release 11 February 2008

Romance in the Real World

Chocolates not your thing? How about a load of bark for the garden, hiding some ‘I love you’ notes around the house, or setting aside a couple of hours at the weekend to do whatever your partner wants you to.

“Romance is great, and it doesn’t have to be roses and chocolates. The best ideas are ones that are meaningful to the relationship. It might be sharing a bottle of wine from a favourite holiday spot, or sitting down together to watch a favourite DVD”, said Cary Hayward, National Practice Manager for Relationship Services.

Putting some thought into a gift or action is the secret to making it special, rather than how much it costs. “Get creative, think about what your partner enjoys and appreciates”, said Mr Hayward.

“Showing that you appreciate your partner and what your relationship means to you is the important thing. As we get caught up in daily routines, it’s easy to take each other for granted.”

“We find that couples who come to counselling when their relationship is struggling have often lost sight of what is special about someone who knows them well,” Mr Hayward said.

“Research shows that sustaining positive feelings in a relationship is the central and most important factor in maintaining relationship”, said Mr Hayward. “One way of building that is by celebrating each other and the relationship. Make Valentine’s Day a time to do something special together.”

Making a Relationship Work: Survey Results

A survey on New Zealanders attitudes to and experiences of relationships, conducted for Relationship Services by AC Neilson in 2005, showed that the most effective ways of making a relationship work were things such as:
- Accepting responsibility (used and found helpful by 92% of people)
- Apologising for any hurt and distress caused (used and found helpful by 91% of people)
- Taking time to listen (used and found helpful by 89% of people)
- Accepting our differences (used and found helpful by 89% of people)
- Focusing on the good things in our relationship (used and found helpful by 88% of people)

The survey found that over 70% of people felt their relationship had become more satisfying over time.

Further details of the report can be found on Relationship Services’ website,
(Specific article with link to download report: )


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