Art & Entertainment | Book Reviews | Education | Entertainment Video | Health | Lifestyle | Sport | Sport Video | Search

 


Dads are doing better

Opinion: Dads are doing better

The current crop of Dads is doing really well, according to John Cowan, writer and researcher with The Parenting Place. “Men are taking their
role in the family more seriously. ‘WHICH men!?’ you might snort derisively. Okay, my gender has a long way to go – Mums are still shouldering
the lioness’s share of the parenting burden – but I have observed a steady improvement. I cannot cite any research on this but I have had a ringside
seat in observing family life over my eighteen years as a parent educator at The Parenting Place and I am impressed at how men are picking up their game. It’s not hard to find dead-beat dads and examples of appalling parenting but I see an increasing willingness by men to get involved with their children.”

Cowan points to the attendances at the recent Fathers’ Breakfasts in Auckland, Wellington and Christchurch. “Hundreds of men turn up. They know they are important to their kids and they want to do better. I was also amazed at how many men turned up at a ‘Dads and Babies’ seminar I ran at the Baby Show. So many of these new dads are really informed and confident and quick to show off their prowess at looking after their infant.”

The tide may be changing but Cowan is still concerned that too many men still retreat from their babies. “Many Dads are scared to get involved with their kids. It probably starts early on in our parenting when we think that we aren’t as well equipped as women for handling small children. There’s no pelvic shelf for parking an infant on while you’re walking around. There’s no built in lunch bar. We also lack some of the instinctive parenting skills women seem to naturally know. Men don’t come with the hardware or the software, so we back off and leave child-rearing to the apparent experts, that is, the women. But if we step back when our kids are babies, everyone loses.”

Cowan urges men to get used to holding and hugging their infant. “If you’ve got a baby, learn to handle her. Babies are not as tough as a rugby ball, but not as fragile as a Flake bar. You should never shake a baby or handle them roughly but as long as you support your baby’s head, and don’t drop them you’re probably doing it okay. Handled with care, a baby should last a lifetime!”

“I really like the way modern dads are less shackled by stale masculine stereotypes,” says Cowan. “They’ve grasped the idea that you are no less manly when you get involved with children; in fact it is a very masculine thing. They realise they are not just ‘mums without the bumps’ but are dads, and dads do things a bit differently. For example, one thing the testosterone-laced nature of a man teaches children very naturally is that the best bits of life are out beyond our comfort zone. What is a Dad doing when he is throwing a child in the air and catching him? Well, he’s alarming his mother for a start! But, for the child, it’s fear, followed by reassurance. The edge of terror, and then back again to safety. A Dad will run with the push-chair, heave the swing up to shrieking height and lift a child up just before a wave hits them. All terrifying, but if Dad is holding their hand, it’s safe and it’s fun. Dads teach that the best adventures and life’s greatest treasures are very close to that edge of terror and that courage unlocks life.”


Ends

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Culture Headlines | Health Headlines | Education Headlines

 

Architecture:
Ian Athfield Dies In Wellington

New Zealand Institute of Architects: It is with great sadness that we inform Members that Sir Ian Athfield, one of New Zealand's finest architects, has passed away in Wellington. More>>

ALSO:

Wellington Production: New-Look Tracy Brothers Are F.A.B.

ITV and New Zealand’s Pukeko Pictures today released an exclusive preview of the new-look Tracy brothers from this year’s hotly anticipated new series, Thunderbirds Are Go. More>>

ALSO:

Cardinal Numbers:
Pope Francis Names Archbishop From NZ Among New Cardinals

Announcing a list of bishops to be made Cardinals in February Pope Francis named Archbishop John Dew, Archbishop of Wellington, overnight from Rome. On hearing the news of the announcement, Archbishop John Dew said "This news is recognition of the Catholic Church in Aotearoa New Zealand, and the contribution it makes to the global Catholic family." More>>

ALSO:

Nomenclature: Charlotte And Oliver Top Baby Names For 2014

Charlotte and Oliver were the most popular names for newborn girls and boys in 2014... The top 100 girls’ and boys’ names make up a small proportion of the more than 12,000 unique first names registered for children born this year, says Jeff Montgomery, Registrar-General of Births, Deaths and Marriage. More>>

Werewolf: Katniss Joins The News Team

From the outset, the Hunger Games series has dwelt obsessively on the ways that media images infiltrate our public and personal lives... From that grim starting point, Mockingjay Part One takes the process a few stages further. There is very little of the film that does not involve the characters (a) being on screens (b) making propaganda footage to be screened and (c) reacting to what other characters have been doing on screens. More>>

ALSO:

Scoop Review Of Books: Ko Witi Te Kaituhituhi

Witi Ihimaera, the distinguished Māori author and the first Māori to publish a book of short stories and a novel, has adopted a new genre with his latest book. But despite its subtitle, this book is a great deal more than a memoir of childhood. More>>

Werewolf: Rescuing Paul Robeson

Would it be any harder these days, for the US government to destroy the career of a famous American entertainer and disappear them from history – purely because of their political beliefs? You would hope so. In 1940, Paul Robeson – a gifted black athlete, singer, film star, Shakespearean actor and orator – was one of the most beloved entertainers on the planet. More>>

ALSO:

"Not A Competition... A Quest": Chapman Tripp Theatre Award Winners

Big winners on the night were Equivocation (Promising Newcomer, Best Costume, Best Director and Production of the Year), Kiss the Fish (Best Music Composition, Outstanding New NZ Play and Best Supporting Actress), and Watch (Best Set, Best Sound Design and Outstanding Performance). More>>

ALSO:

Get More From Scoop

 
 

LATEST HEADLINES

 
 
 
 
Culture
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news