Trev For ABs (open letter to NZRFU)
New Zealand Rugby Football Union
28 September 2001
Dear Murray Nomination of Trevor Mallard for Position of Coach of All Blacks:
Our group wishes to nominate Trevor Mallard for the position of coach of the All Blacks till the next World Cup, which we understand closes today.
As you have not openly advertised the person specification, we have assumed criteria on the basis of recent performances by All Black Coaches and then listed Trevor’s (call me Trev! How Kiwi is that?) achievements which we think make him a shoe-in for the job.
Criteria 1: Ability to take the pressure: Trev was booed off the stage for his performance at this week’s PPTA Conference yet was completely unfazed and if he doesn’t get this job thinks he should be PM.
Criteria 2: Ability to take New Zealand from Number One to Also Ran: Trev has rushed a dumb new qualification (the NCEA) into schools to replace School Certificate. The NCEA has failed everywhere else. But Trev is giving each teacher a piece of number eight wire and telling them to get on with it - like proper kiwis.
Criteria 3: Being a “hard man” (putting raw young people under pressure till they fold – like making Taine Randall and Anton Oliver captains (when Toddy was available!) Trev is currently toughing it out by making fourteen year old kids the guinea pigs for the NCEA without bothering to trial it. “We will pick up the pieces as we go,” he says, in answer to all the practitioners and pointy heads who say he is wrong.
Teachers in New Zealand strongly support this application.
The All Blacks results can get no worse but …. think of the favour you will be doing our kids.
Peter Calvert – 021 2111 825 06 374 6728