Caucasian president commits to liberal propaganda
Thursday, 03 April 2008
Press Release: Aotearoa Student Press Association
Media Release – 03 April 2008 - For Immediate Use
(Or, You Know, Whenever)
Caucasian president committed to liberal propaganda, victimising minorities
Students can expect radical changes in the way their news is reported, thanks to the unexpected appointment of a middle-class white male as this year’s president of the Aotearoa Student Press Association.
2008 President Rory MacKinnon is the editor of Unitec student magazine In Unison and the Association’s umpteenth president of Caucasian descent. MacKinnon says he is proud to follow in the footsteps of his professional and genetic predecessors, and says he is ‘absolutely committed’ to the ideals of the organisation.
“I’m passionate about serving students, and I’m proud to take on this important role. I’ll be working as hard as I can to serve students and the public, preferably by going on all-expenses paid media junkets twice a year. A ‘public servant’, if you will.”
“For too long, European New Zealanders from privileged backgrounds have struggled to get our stories reported in the national media. Our tertiary institutions are filled with disenfranchised Communications students who lack the ability to make their voices heard. Well, no more!”
MacKinnon says last week’s national conference of student journalists was “surprisingly productive”, spawning plans to improve the Association’s influence as a source of liberal propaganda.
“One of our goals for this year is to improve our circulation – by making sure our stories consistently reach other media outlets and the public, we can hopefully gain more mainstream media coverage of student news and education issues.”
MacKinnon points to last year’s coverage of National MP Paul Hutchison’s attack on a Waikato University ‘boganologist’ doctorate student as “an important story on academic freedom and independent research, which fortunately got the coverage it deserved.”
“There are stories like this happening all the time, and it’s our intention this year to get them on the front pages - not just our news pages.”
The conference in Wellington also featured seminars by investigative journalist and Hollow Men author Nicky Hager, Public Address blogger Keith Ng and other media professionals and layabouts.
MacKinnon adds that his first action as leader was to leap straight into the controversial party pills debate, and subsequently has “no idea” what happened to half his clothing.
“I’m looking for a grey leather jacket containing an antiquated iPod shuffle and a mobile phone. It was probably last seen somewhere on Cuba St, or maybe in Mighty Mighty.”
“It was a really nice jacket”, he concludes.