Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search


Irish Eyes: Weather From The Stars

Pisces: This weeks weather will be damp for pisceans with a rising eye moisture level in the air meaning sorrow will be boundless in the mornings, particularly for those who work. Embrace the sadness, for it is real.

Aries: People born under the ram will be wise to wear wool this week, but should desist from doing so in the coming weeks as spring approaches and the ram wakes from its winter’s celibacy.

Taurus: Taureans will be too busy not doing what they are told to notice the weather. Stubborn. Stubborn. Stubborn. Stubborn. Stubborn. Stubborn. Stubborn. Stubborn. Stubborn.

Gemini: This week’s weather bodes well for you. A sudden shower will take you into the arms of destiny around noon on Wednesday.

Cancer: It is a time of renewal, a re-invention inspired by the weather, perhaps the shape of a cloud, or the way the sunlight falls on a dear friends face will make you realise you are on the wrong metaphoric bus. When the rain stops, get off, through away your umbrella.

Leo: Being a lion is easy, you will continue to sleep most of the day and dream of the Savannah. Avoid red meat until the sun comes out. Watch out for rain loving hyena-types who may try to steal something.

Virgo: No way out for you Virgo, it is time for action, this is your week to splash in the puddles and make you boss take notice. A pay rise or new raincoat looks likely on Thursday.

Libra: As you look at the television weather forecast you will be struck by the curviness of the earth and feel a renewed love of nature. This will take you out of doors where excitement may or may not be found in the gurgling noise of city drains.

Scorpio: Sorry Scorpio there really is nothing install for you as far as the weather goes this week. Perhaps you are caving in the former Yugoslavia.

Sagittarius: Beware falling weather balloons, which are launched from one hundred locations across the United States twice daily and must come down someplace. Avoid the jet stream.

Capricorn: It is always summer in your heart, winter in your toes, autumn in your hair and spring in your eyes.

Aquarius: The water bearer will be taking a holiday somewhere dry in a last ditch effort at irony.

© Scoop Media

Top Scoops Headlines


Gordon Campbell: On The (Delayed) Judgment Day For Theresa May

When under stress, British PM Theresa May reportedly eats peanut butter straight from the jar. Crunch time is looming... More>>


Gordon Campbell: On Politely Fake Political Obituaries (And The Paris Discord)

One unfortunate side effect of “personality politics” is that when prominent politicians die, the niceties we observe at the death of private individuals get automatically extended to them as well... More>>


Unique And Vanishing: NZ Biodiversity Losses Match Global Crisis

One might think that it is buffered from some of the effects of biological erosion, especially since people only arrived less than 800 years ago. But as we show, the impact on wildlife has been catastrophic. More>>

Your Name Here(ish): Sponsor A Section On! has just launched Section Sponsorships - the newest way for you to gain exposure for your brand to Scoop’s high value audience of 500,000 monthly readers. More>>


You Did It! The Scoop 3.0 PledgeMe Closes

Update: The Scoop 3.0 Crowdsale and Crowdfunding Campaign met its target with a total of $36,024 pledged. It looks like it has all been worthwhile. We are nearly there and will ride again in 2019, our 20th year of operations. Moreover the past week has brought a number of inquiries from larger organisations, many of which have till now failed to respond to our messages... More>>