Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | News Flashes | Scoop Features | Scoop Video | Strange & Bizarre | Search

 


Guest Column: Selling The Silver Haired

SELLING THE SILVER


By Waiata Dawn Davies

Just as British Aristocrats sold off their Gainsboroughs to pay death duties, New Zealand has sold just about everything to repay the National debt.

But we are deeper in the mire than ever, so New Zealand must turn out its attics and find any forgotten treasures that can be sold.

What have we got that we can no longer afford to maintain? New Zealand's over sixties had the best of things, milk in Schools, free health care, free education, guaranteed jobs, some of them even had overseas holidays in Italy, Korea and Vietnam, paid for by the tax payer.

Our Plunket pampered, Beeby brigade are still a pretty healthy lot. Let's offer them to the highest bidders. Developing countries would jump at the chance to acquire what we can offer.

For example, assorted School teachers, trained to maintain discipline in huge classes and to create world class learning programmes from almost nothing.

Or, Engineers, bridge and railway builders, not forgetting hydro electric systems that work, town planning, a speciality. Or carpenters and plumbers, guaranteed to build whole cities of high quality, low cost worker housing.

Chechnya and Kosova would be grateful for them.

We could offer our returned servicemen as a special lot. Trained patriots, renowned for bravery under fire, capable of great ingenuity.

Former airforce pilots able to spread fertiliser and 10.80 poison over any terrain in old planes. The Balkans and some African republics would be glad to incorporate our retired servicemen into their forces.

We could sell old farmers to Thailand and Columbia. A thousand retired Kiwi farmers in the golden triangle would revolutionise horticulture there and could create a whole new market for number eight wire.

New Zealand's greatest asset must surely be the former school teachers, nurses, receptionists, shorthand typists, telephone operators, all conditioned from birth to sacrifice their own ambitions to social expectation.

They are experienced family slaves, with a multitude of skills which can be exploited. They are dressmakers, knitters, jam makers, gardeners, clever at raising funds for civic purposes, like cake stalls for kindergartens. They're clean and housetrained and good with children. They would make nice pets.

The Japanese sell their old cars to us. Why not sell our old people?

New Zealand would profit from such deals in many ways. Bowling greens could be turned into golf courses for Japanese business tycoons. Geriatric wards and waiting lists for hip replacements would disappear. We could even charge our over sixties commission on their sale.

All it takes is a little correct thinking. ends...


© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Werewolf: Living With Rio’s Olympic Ruins

Mariana Cavalcanti Critics of the Olympic project can point a discernible pattern in the delivery of Olympics-related urban interventions: the belated but rushed inaugurations of faulty and/or unfinished infrastructures... More>>

Live Blog On Now: Open Source//Open Society Conference

The second annual Open Source Open Society Conference is a 2 day event taking place on 22-23 August 2016 at Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington… Scoop is hosting a live blog summarising the key points of this exciting conference. More>>

ALSO:

Buildup:

Gordon Campbell: On The Politicising Of The War On Drugs In Sport

It hasn’t been much fun at all to see how “war on drugs in sport” has become a proxy version of the Cold War, fixated on Russia. This weekend’s banning of the Russian long jumper Darya Klishina took that fixation to fresh extremes. More>>

ALSO:

Binoy Kampmark: Kevin Rudd’s Failed UN Secretary General Bid

Few sights are sadder in international diplomacy than seeing an aging figure desperate for honours. In a desperate effort to net them, he scurries around, cultivating, prodding, wishing to be noted. Finally, such an honour is netted, in all likelihood just to shut that overly keen individual up. More>>

Open Source / Open Society: The Scoop Foundation - An Open Model For NZ Media

Access to accurate, relevant and timely information is a crucial aspect of an open and transparent society. However, in our digital society information is in a state of flux with every aspect of its creation, delivery and consumption undergoing profound redefinition... More>>

Keeping Out The Vote: Gordon Campbell On The US Elections

I’ll focus here on just two ways that dis-enfranchisement is currently occurring in the US: (a) by the rigging of the boundary lines for voter districts and (b) by demanding elaborate photo IDs before people are allowed to cast their vote. More>>

Ramzy Baroud: Being Black Palestinian - Solidarity As A Welcome Pathology

It should come as no surprise that the loudest international solidarity that accompanied the continued spate of the killing of Black Americans comes from Palestine; that books have already been written and published by Palestinians about the plight of their Black brethren. In fact, that solidarity is mutual. More>>

ALSO:


Get More From Scoop

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news