NOTE: Authors of this report will be anonymous and wide ranging and occasionally unhinged. Indeed you are invited to contribute: The format is as a reporters notebook. It will be published as and when material is available. C.D. Sludge can be contacted at email@example.com. The Sludge Report is available as a free email service..Click HERE to subscribe...
Another pretty Indian Rain Picture of the monsoon – exclusively on Scoop…. This one is of today. It is totally unrelated to the story that follows but is symptomatic of sentiment.
Sludge Report #22
George Speight is beginning to get under Sludge’s skin. And George Speight’s mug larger than life, intimidating Sludge’s unconscious, is not a pretty sight. Something must be done!
In a particularly unpleasant recent dream Speight was in a boat with his lieutenant Joe Nata . On the banks of a river resembling the Heathcote river (but which oddly seemed to be in the Solomon Islands) are an array of Pacfic civil society. Speight has just freed the hostages and everybody is waving him a warm goodbye. Joe pulls the dinghy away from the bank.
Then suddenly Sludge starts shouting. “Are you going to let him get away! All of you!” Everybody looks at Sludge as though he is a lunatic. Sludge then unwisely jumps into the boat with Speight to remonstrate the point. Sludge woke up as Speight started to give Sludge a throttling.
That was yesterday and Sludge had a thoroughly disturbing day following.
This morning Sludge is again left shaking his head – like surely all sane people in the world - in confusion as to why the hostages have not yet been released!
After all his demands have been met it seems Speight still smells a rat. That the Military are going to renege on the deal. Maybe that the Great Council of Chiefs will even.
Maybe all Fiji is now concertedly trying to con him into releasing the hostages after which they will promptly arrest him and charge him with treason. In fact Speight’s dreams are probably considerably worse than Sludge’s.
And for this reason Sludge, as ever, remains optimistic that we will yet see events in Fiji restored to some semblance of sanity. Afterall is Sludge is having bad dreams about Speight – what must it be like for the average Fijian? Or perhaps more importantly the average Fijian member of the Great Council of Chiefs and their wife and kids.
Meanwhile - when they aren’t occupying Billionaire businessmen’s resorts and power stations - a large number of Fijians are by all accounts holding non-stop prayer meetings. More evidence that Sludge is not the only one having bad dreams, sludge reckons.
It is suggested by reports that the various land protests and actions over the last few days are all being orchestrated by Speight’s supporters. Some are, no doubt, but Sludge is confident that things are not as they seem. The psychic balance is too upset.
Far more likely many of the groups involved in ancillary actions over the last few days are genuinely annoyed at various injustices meted out to them – such as they confiscation of their land for power stations and Billionaire businessmen’s resorts - without compensation.
And given that these events were probably sanctioned by Chiefs and/or friends of Speight, it stands to reason that they are not necessarily Speight’s supporters at heart.
Sure they are encouraged by Speight – but not because they want him to lead them – but because he seems to be getting so much attention!
Sludge concludes therefore that as this drama drags on the likelihood of Speight getting out of this crisis scot-free is slipping ever further away.
Speight has now traumatised not only Fiji, the military, the police force, the workers and the church but also most of the rest of the South Pacific - and probably nearly half the world’s population via CNN and the BBC - for the last eight weeks.
He represents everything that is loathsome in a politician, greed, avarice, arrogance, bullying, untrustworthiness, profantiy, corruption, deception, megalomania, dishonesty, to name just a few.
And so, if - when this horrible affair finally comes to an end - Speight ends up as Fijian PM, and not in jail, then Sludge is a banana.
© Sludge 2000