Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | News Flashes | Scoop Features | Scoop Video | Strange & Bizarre | Search

 


Rosalea Barker: One Shot Deal Don't Matter

The superstitious among us say things come in threes, so I wonder if Al Gore is at home in the VP mansion listening to his Van Morrison collection, trying to choose a soundtrack for his concession speech. Russell Crowe and Don Johnson both searched their very soul to the Van Man's tunes today in San Francisco - Crowe in the movies at the Century in the Marina district, and Johnson on the small screen in "Nash Bridges", that lifeblood of SF extras.

Hell, I don't know what Al's musical tastes are but things sure took a left turn this morning, with the US Supreme Court granting a stay to the Bush team. In the Caravan Cafe on Chestnut Street the brunch talk was of how Gore is his own worst enemy, secretly not really wanting to be President. Seinfeld psychology aside, one TV channel is now reporting that there'll be no president sworn in on 20 January, just an acting president in the form of the leader of the House of Representatives. What a rich irony that would be. It's like the big kids fighting over the new toy so much that their mom gave it to their cousin instead.

So, for spoiled children everywhere I present this cautionary tale:

The Veep was in his counting house, counting all his chads, Riling up the brothers Bush and countless moms and dads, Protesters roamed the city streets, calling for a halt To undervotes and overvotes, and the rubbing in of salt.

The governors of This and That declared that Bush had won, "That isn't so," the Veep replied, "so go and bite your thumb." (He would have said much worse than that, but well-up was he brung.)

The lawyers were all out in force, their pockets filling fast, The coffers for both Bush and Veep were gasping their last gasp. "Oh friends", they cried "Desert me not, 'tis I who'll win this prize." But all around the Dems and Reps were rubbing tear-filled eyes:

"We want to win some votes ourselves, next time that we all stand For public office in the states comprising this fair land. Oh can't you see your selfishness is costing us our jobs, Not to mention all the funds the lobbyists have lobbed?"

And so it was, and rightly so, that on the sixtieth day Of claim and oral argument, opinion, appeal and stay, Neither of the candidates got to be the one To get the big red button that fires the final gun.

Yeah, OK I won't give up my day job to write poetry, but I reckon my doggerel is as good as the next person's. It's just that ending I've got trouble with. According to "When No Majority Rules" by Michael J. Glennon (in PDF on the web at http://books.cqpress.com/nomajority/index.html) if it comes down to a vote in the House and no presidential candidate receives 26 votes by January 20th but the new vice president has been elected, he becomes acting president until the president IS elected by the House. And since the current Veep will be the tie-breaking vote in the new 50-50 Senate, where the new vice president is elected, doesn't that mean Joe Lieberman will be president?

Then again, I sure hope for Al Gore's sake that he never riled the boss's wife. In an editorial written before the election a local reporter in the Berkeley Daily Planet gave us his grandmother's predictions for the outcome. Only one person has a face with the right feng shui, she said. Dick Cheney.


Lea Barker
California
Saturday 9 December PT


© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Werewolf: Living With Rio’s Olympic Ruins

Mariana Cavalcanti Critics of the Olympic project can point a discernible pattern in the delivery of Olympics-related urban interventions: the belated but rushed inaugurations of faulty and/or unfinished infrastructures... More>>

Live Blog On Now: Open Source//Open Society Conference

The second annual Open Source Open Society Conference is a 2 day event taking place on 22-23 August 2016 at Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington… Scoop is hosting a live blog summarising the key points of this exciting conference. More>>

ALSO:

Buildup:

Gordon Campbell: On The Politicising Of The War On Drugs In Sport

It hasn’t been much fun at all to see how “war on drugs in sport” has become a proxy version of the Cold War, fixated on Russia. This weekend’s banning of the Russian long jumper Darya Klishina took that fixation to fresh extremes. More>>

ALSO:

Binoy Kampmark: Kevin Rudd’s Failed UN Secretary General Bid

Few sights are sadder in international diplomacy than seeing an aging figure desperate for honours. In a desperate effort to net them, he scurries around, cultivating, prodding, wishing to be noted. Finally, such an honour is netted, in all likelihood just to shut that overly keen individual up. More>>

Open Source / Open Society: The Scoop Foundation - An Open Model For NZ Media

Access to accurate, relevant and timely information is a crucial aspect of an open and transparent society. However, in our digital society information is in a state of flux with every aspect of its creation, delivery and consumption undergoing profound redefinition... More>>

Keeping Out The Vote: Gordon Campbell On The US Elections

I’ll focus here on just two ways that dis-enfranchisement is currently occurring in the US: (a) by the rigging of the boundary lines for voter districts and (b) by demanding elaborate photo IDs before people are allowed to cast their vote. More>>

Ramzy Baroud: Being Black Palestinian - Solidarity As A Welcome Pathology

It should come as no surprise that the loudest international solidarity that accompanied the continued spate of the killing of Black Americans comes from Palestine; that books have already been written and published by Palestinians about the plight of their Black brethren. In fact, that solidarity is mutual. More>>

ALSO:


Get More From Scoop

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news