Scoop Satire: Health Officials Crack Down On 1B4

Friday, 2 February 2001, 9:42 am
Column: Bernard Darnton

Press Release
Ministry of Public Health

In a shock move, health officials today banned 1B4 - the popular small format notebook.

"We've seen children as young as nine reading and writing, and this is not the sort of thing we want to encourage in New Zealand schools," commented an official who declined to be named. "These notebooks may seem harmless but their misuse could lead to abuse of more serious stationery, such as the hardcover 2B5."

The government has promised to move quickly to curb the problem of literacy amongst the country's youth and will introduce legislation later this year to allow tighter controls.

"The twin plagues of literacy and numeracy can affect a child's ability to think and so these proactive moves are necessary to protect our way of life," stated a source close to the Minister.

ENDS

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