Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search

 

SHARP COMPUTING: The Reinstalling Windows Song

"!!WIN BEER!!
Have a sharp story you think is worth sharing ?
send it to Sharp@scoop.co.nz and WIN BEER!!
++++++ PLEASE PASS THIS EMAIL ON! ++++++

SHARP COMPUTING: The Reinstalling Windows Song

(This sharp little ditty is to be sung to the tune of "When I'm Cleaning Windows" by George Formby)

I bought a new computer,
It cost two thousand dollars,
But every time I switch it on
It keeps on falling down.

I used to think it was my friend
Now it drives me round the bend;
You'd be surprised the time I spend
Reinstalling Windows.

I switch it on but what is this?
There's something wrong with CONFIG.SYS?
This isn't my idea of bliss,
Reinstalling Windows.

Reboot again and what is that?
I've gone and lost my SYSTEM.DAT?
Would you ever credit that?
Reinstalling Windows.

I want to share my printers and
I want to share my files,
I want to share my anger 'cos
It drives me bloomin' wild.

Load disk four, oh what fun!
It says it helps you get things done;
Every day now everyone's
Reinstalling Windows.

Load disk ten and it will say
All you do is plug and play
So why do I spend every day
Reinstalling Windows?

It can't locate my printer
And it can't locate my mouse;
The other day it told me
They were in Bill Gates's house.

Still unplugged, still unplayed,
I've E-mailed God in search of aid
He's far too busy he's afraid
Reinstalling Windows.

Up at dawn for one more try;
Does it work? Can pigs fly?
How do I expect to die?
Reinstalling Windows.

It doesn't like my modem and
Detests all CD-ROMs;
let's see if Setup Wizard
Recognizes bombs.

I used to like a drink or three;
No time now, don't call for me;
I'm going to spend eternity
Reinstalling Windows.

- Author unknown, found circulating on the Internet.


======= HOW TO STAY SHARP! =======

Subscribe To Steinlager Premium Light Top Scoops (With Sharp Stories)

New Zealand's first free and customisable real-time news by email service. You too can join the ultra-sharp community of news users who have discovered the Scoop news-by-email service. Included in each daily Top Scoops headlines bulletin will be a Sharp Story designed to help keep you razor sharp. Enjoy tomorrow’s news today on Scoop!

CLICK HERE: http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/ad_html/sharpstories/stein.html

=========== PASS IT ON! ===========

TO CHANGE MY SCOOP OPTIONS OR UNSUBSCRIBE FROM THIS LIST:
http://www.scoop.co.nz/mason/myscoop/signin.html


© Scoop Media

 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Charlotte Graham: I OIA'd Every Council In NZ...

A “no surprises” mindset and training and advice that has taught public servants to see any media interaction as a “gotcha” exercise perpetrated by unscrupulous and scurrilous reporters has led to a polarised and often unproductive OIA process. More>>

ALSO:

Veronika Meduna: The Kaikoura Rebuild

A Scoop Foundation Investigation The South Island’s main transport corridor will be open to traffic again, more than a year after a magnitude 7.8 earthquake mangled bridges and tunnels, twisted rail tracks and buried sections of the road under massive landslides. More>>

Charlotte Graham: Empowering Communities To Act In A Disaster
The year of record-breaking natural disasters means that in the US, as in New Zealand, there’s a conversation happening about how best to run the emergency management sector... More>>

ALSO:

Campbell On: The attacks on Lorde, over Israel
The escalation of attacks on Lorde for her considered decision not to perform in Israel is unfortunate, but is not entirely unexpected…More

Jan Rivers: The New Zealanders Involved In Brexit

There are a number who have strong connections to New Zealand making significant running on either side of the contested and divisive decision to leave the European Union. More>>

Rawiri Taonui: The Rise, Fall And Future Of The Independent Māori Parties

Earlier this month the Māori Party and Mana Movement reflected on the shock loss of their last parliamentary seat in this year’s election. It is timely to consider their future. More>>

Using Scoop Professionally? Introducing ScoopPro

ScoopPro is a new offering aimed at ensuring professional users get the most out of Scoop and support us to continue improving it so that Scoop continues to exist as a public service for all New Zealanders. More>>

ALSO: