Irish Eyes: Enjoying The Weather At Your Place

'Advice for dealing with intemperate weather' or 'How to best enjoy the weather at your place'

If it is raining outside save time in the morning by not rinsing the shampoo from your hair, instead let the rain do so as you walk to work. If it is sunny and windy, don't bother drying your hair, it will dry naturally by the time you arrive and people will think you have just had it styled.

If there is a heatwave leave your potatoes on the window ledge all day, when you get home they will require only a few moments in the oven before they are cooked and ready to eat.

If it is raining turn your umbrella inside out and hold it over you as you walk. As it slowly fills with water you will be giving your arms great exercise. Another advantage of this is that as it becomes completely full the weight will turn your umbrella the right way round again and spill water on anyone walking near you. A great laugh.

If it is very windy and you are trying to cross a busy street, insist on trying to read your newspaper as you wait, the inevitable result will be it flying all over the street, sticking to car windscreens and causing a traffic jam which will allow you to get to other side safe and sound.

If it is to a particularly thick fog that you wake up to why not dress completely in white, creep up beside people and say loudly into their ear 'you couldn't see the sun if it was twenty yards from you in this pea-souper'.

Should you find yourself in a flood gather all the cans of sardines and tuna that have been sitting in your shelves and float them down on the rising water. While this may not cheer you up much it will delight others who see it.

- feedback to paloona@yahoo.com

© Scoop Media