Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search

 

Bank Stories (2): Why I Hate Banks

NOTE: The following is Scoop's second bank story. Dave has earned himself a double pass to The Bank movie, coming to a cinema near you soon. See... Scoop Interactive: Do You Hate Banks? for info on how you too can bend an ear or two and score a double pass to The Bank Movie.

Why I Hate Banks - by Dave Crampton

I hate Banks. I really do. It's the tellers I hate. Banks is the most arrogant teller in the country - he tells people what to do all the time - and charges them interest.Banks has done more harm to the country than Blumsky, Prendergast, Bell-Booth Shadbolt and Turner put together- and probably has more money - and cars - than all of them combined.

Banks has a problem. He is certainly not the peoples Banks, having got just 18 percent of the vote in Auckland for the mayoralty. He hates gays, boy racers, and planting trees. He loves speaking,telling people what to do and pissing people off.

There are not too many words that rhyme with Banks - but one word comes to mind when recalling the man that is John Banks. And it is not tanks, or tanker. As a self-proclaimed Christian, who are people that God is supposed to have forgiven, Banks has a thing or two to learn from God in this area. He seems to have forgotten too that God gave him two ears that are constantly open but only one mouth that can open and shut. Trouble is Banks tries to close his ears to reasonable people but can't shut his mouth. It still remains to be seen whether God gave Banks a brain - but if he did, you can be sure it is a bit like Pooh Bear - The Bear With A Very Small Brain.

I will never put my money in Banks. It's a bad investment.

yours

Dave Crampton


© Scoop Media

 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

27-29 Sept: Social Enterprise World Forum Live Blog

1600+ delegates from more than 45 countries have came together to share wisdom, build networks and discuss how to create a more sustainable future using social enterprise as a vehicle. Attending the Forum were social enterprise practitioners, social entrepreneurs, policy makers, community leaders, investors, activists, academics and more from across the globe... More>>

HiveMind Report: A Universal Basic Income For Aotearoa NZ

Results from this HiveMind suggests that an overwhelming majority of Kiwis believe that due to changing circumstances and inefficiencies in the current system, we need a better system to take care of welfare of struggling members in our society. More>>

ALSO:

Scoop Hivemind: Medical Cannabis - Co-Creating A Policy For Aotearoa

Welcome to the fourth and final HiveMind for Scoop’s Opening the Election campaign for 2017. This HiveMind explores the question: what would a fair, humane and safe Medical Cannabis policy look like for Aotearoa, NZ in 2018? More>>

ALSO:

Lyndon Hood: Notes On National’s Election Campaign, In Poem Form

Nationyl’s bitumen-ing / As they du du / Seed groweth / River floweth / Then ‘dozer drives thru / Highway ensu. More>>