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Bank Stories (2): Why I Hate Banks

NOTE: The following is Scoop's second bank story. Dave has earned himself a double pass to The Bank movie, coming to a cinema near you soon. See... Scoop Interactive: Do You Hate Banks? for info on how you too can bend an ear or two and score a double pass to The Bank Movie.

Why I Hate Banks - by Dave Crampton

I hate Banks. I really do. It's the tellers I hate. Banks is the most arrogant teller in the country - he tells people what to do all the time - and charges them interest.Banks has done more harm to the country than Blumsky, Prendergast, Bell-Booth Shadbolt and Turner put together- and probably has more money - and cars - than all of them combined.

Banks has a problem. He is certainly not the peoples Banks, having got just 18 percent of the vote in Auckland for the mayoralty. He hates gays, boy racers, and planting trees. He loves speaking,telling people what to do and pissing people off.

There are not too many words that rhyme with Banks - but one word comes to mind when recalling the man that is John Banks. And it is not tanks, or tanker. As a self-proclaimed Christian, who are people that God is supposed to have forgiven, Banks has a thing or two to learn from God in this area. He seems to have forgotten too that God gave him two ears that are constantly open but only one mouth that can open and shut. Trouble is Banks tries to close his ears to reasonable people but can't shut his mouth. It still remains to be seen whether God gave Banks a brain - but if he did, you can be sure it is a bit like Pooh Bear - The Bear With A Very Small Brain.

I will never put my money in Banks. It's a bad investment.


Dave Crampton

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