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Undernews: Conflagration Competency Exam


Leave no chicken hawk behind

By Sam Smith, Editor

1. In order to get rid of Saddam Hussein it is likely that some Americans will be killed as well. How many do you think is a reasonable number? How many is too many?

2. Some reports indicate that there are other people living in Iraq besides Saddam Hussein. How many would be worth killing in order to get rid of Hussein? How many is too many? Does this also apply to those who have no weapons of mass destruction in their homes?

3. When will the Afghan invasion be over? How can we tell?

4. If we bomb Baghdad, some targets in the U.S. may be hit in retaliation. Which of the following are expendable in order to rid Iraq of Saddam Hussein?

- The Sears Tower
- The New York Stock Exchange
- Hoover Dam
- New York City
- New York City excluding Manhattan
- The NY Times and Washington Post editorial offices
- The headquarters of the Council on Foreign Relations

5. List the names of all relatives you consider expendable in the effort to rid Iraq of Saddam Hussein.

6. List those cities that could be damaged by chemical, biological, or nuclear attack without discommoding the New American Century.

7. After we obliterate Iraq, how many more countries do we need to invade?

8. Are the people selling their stocks in the various markets appeasers, hippies, and Stalinists? If not, why are they so worried about war?

9. How did you get to be so smart about military operations?

10. What can General Schwarzkopf and other military doubters do to reach your level of proficiency in these matters?


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