Kidd Millennium: Rerun Of A Bad Movie

At a recent economic forum, President Bush rejected potential concessions made to Iraq as “a rerun of a bad movie” that he is not interested in watching. However, perhaps answers to his geopolitical dilemma lie in the film industry, even though our fearless leader might object to the analogy.

The lines at the box office are too long for our impatient president. He has rejected all the popcorn the UN and Saddam have been dishing out, and his viewing preference has rejected reruns in favor of the new genre of reality TV.

Two tickets to War please.

Bush, the mastermind behind America’s next high-octane action flick is not as adept at directing or producing, as he would like the world to believe. He is lacking technically and promotionally. In delivering his theme of defending us against the Axis of Evil, he resorts to tunnel vision to capture the big picture rather than a wide-angle lens. In so doing, the most draconian of laws and policies are being slipped past us, all in the name of terrorism.

As the Great Simplifier, his reductionistic belief that the world can be reduced to good versus evil is reminiscent of a 1920’s black and white silent picture. Similar to silent screen actors delivering their message by gesture versus eloquence, our swashbuckling leading man is at his best when engaged in a good old sword fight. Relentless in his battle against the Dark Side, he continues to do boffo at the box office with patriots that require no further explanation.

However, his central theme of terrorism is nothing more than a catch-phrase for his administration to do whatever it likes, while billions of tax dollars later, America is no closer to finding Osama bin Laden than we were when our Twin Towers were first detonated. Pushing the US into record-breaking deficits, his budget overruns make the film industry pale in comparison.

Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle said the budget was proof "that President Bush is leading the most fiscally irresponsible administration in history." Daschle added, "the president's budget is worse than a bad movie that no one wants to see twice. It's a budget-busting epic disaster."

In commercial broadcasting, ratings and revenue always trump substance. Perhaps Saddam’s request for a debate between Bush and himself would make the best reality TV yet: The Wild West Texan Cowboy versus the Mesopotamian Mad Max.

After all this would end an age-old feud between the Bushes and the Husseins for once and for all. It's easy to forget that the Gulf Wars are not over. Since the mother of all battles came to a halt 12 years ago, the U.S. has unleashed a rash of modern weapons--economic sanctions, an arms embargo, weapons inspections, no-fly zones, the occasional assassination attempt and a cash-for-allies program--to no avail. The vexing enemy left in position since 1991 by the first President Bush has managed ever since to keep his seat of power in a land that has endured for over 8000 years.

Perhaps facilitated by the WWF, there could be a "Smackdown Mass Destruction" match-up between Dubya and Saddam. As television’s top rated wrestling league, long known for its over-the-top story lines and characters, what better place to have the two top dogs duke it out.

The personal history of George W. Bush has been well documented. This is a man who has maneuvered through life on Daddy’s coattails. Whether admitted to Yale or Harvard on reverse-affirmative action, getting a pass on Vietnam, handed oil companies and baseball teams, George W could not have accomplished what he did without family connections.

In fact, it could be argued that the first real chance Dubya would ever have to accomplish something on his own would be to face Saddam Hussein at high noon, pistols at the ready. Gun Fight at the Iraqi Corral! And with such an accomplishment securely under his belt, Bush's resume could finally list an achievement without an asterisk next to it.

His inability to sell his pulp fiction to the masses has resulted in relinquishing ties with previous allies, angering millions of Islamic followers, causing anti-war protests at home and abroad, and for the first time in his presidency, reducing his approval ratings.

However as long as Bush, the Preemptinator can rally his American posse one more time, our militia’s return to Iraq is one bad movie that cannot help but have the second reel played out.

But is it a sequel worth the price of admission?

Ron Callari is a freelance journalist and editorial cartoonist who resides in Jersey City, New Jersey. He and co-creator Jack Pittman produce kidd millennium cartoons weekly. See… http://www.kiddmillennium.com/writer.htm

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