Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search

 

Scoop Satire: International News Briefs

EDITORS NOTE: Scoop is proud to host the online version of the Babylon Express satirical newspaper. Those easily offended and not often amused should avoid this content. See authors note at the end of this article for more information about the Babylon Express.

Blair Reappointed Cheerleader

British Prime Minister Tory Blair has been re-elected as head cheerleader for the US Government State Department for the 3rd year running. Mr Blair beat off strong competition this year from Australian PM John Coward to retain the much sought-after role.

US President said that Blair had won on the strength of their respective nations historical ‘special relationship’.

“And I can confirm that Tory is a very special leader, very special indeed - aren’t you Tory? You’re my special little friend.” said Bush, giving the blushing, sharp-toothed, dish-eared Mr Blair an affectionate pinch on the cheek.

The British PM then donned tights and pom-poms and delighted a large crowd with a routine he’d specially prepared, entitled “America, America - I’m Your Pal!”

Sharon Reassures Palestinians

Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon today delivered a personal message of reassurance to Palestinians about his governments desire for a meaningful peace in the conflict ridden region.

“Yea, I am become death” said Sharon. “And death shall be my name and smiting shall be my nature, and those who defy my word are aggressors and must be smote by the flaming sword of Zion.”

US diplomatic attache Hubert Humphrey welcomed the offering and hoped that Palestinians would respond ‘responsibly’ to Sharon’s gesture.

However, Israeli Defence Force sources said that the only thing responsible about the Palestinian response was the orderly way they formed queues and waited patiently for their explosive suitcases.

**** ENDS ****

- The Babylon Express is a satirical newspaper published randomly in Wellington. Copies are so far only available in local shops whose proprietors haven't got sticks up their arses. Those interested in acquiring previous or upcoming print edition copies should contact the editor at bexpress69@hotmail.com or subscribe at the online home of the Babylon Express (including previous online articles) here on Scoop at: http://scoop.co.nz/mason/features/?s=bex. Contributions and suggestions are always very welcome. Cheers.

Readers of enthusiasm may also like to consider subscribing to the online email version in Free My Scoop.

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Jan Rivers: The New Zealanders Involved In Brexit

There are a number who have strong connections to New Zealand making significant running on either side of the contested and divisive decision to leave the European Union. More>>

Rawiri Taonui: The Rise, Fall And Future Of The Independent Māori Parties

Earlier this month the Māori Party and Mana Movement reflected on the shock loss of their last parliamentary seat in this year’s election. It is timely to consider their future. More>>

Don Rennie: Is It Time To Take ACC Back To First Principles?

The word “investing” has played a major part in the operations of the ACC since 1998... More>>

Using Scoop Professionally? Introducing ScoopPro

ScoopPro is a new offering aimed at ensuring professional users get the most out of Scoop and support us to continue improving it so that Scoop continues to exist as a public service for all New Zealanders. More>>

ALSO: