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Top 10 things to improve NZ-USA relations

Top 10 things the government could do to improve NZ-USA relations

1. Fedex one of Marian Hobbs' limited edition Lord of the Rings cardigans over to Mrs Bush.

2. Get Trevor Mallard to make a hilarious quip about Donald Rumsfeld and a bottle of Bud Light.

3. Offer to let the USA use Margaret Wilson's new Supreme Court in case theirs ever runs out of left-wing judges.

4. Get smooth-talking Ian Ewen-Street to hit on Condoleeza Rice.

5. Offer to swap the Topp Twins for the Dixie Chicks.

6. Release the full text of Helen Clark's apology where she describes George W. Bush as an "engaging and likable person for a warmongering redneck".

7. Get Monica Lewinsky in to run a training session for Labour Party staffers.

8. Set up a "battle of the giants" comedy challenge between David Letterman and Michael Cullen.

9. Invent a rumour of a torrid love affair between Helen Clark and Tom Cruise.

10. Offer to deport Linda Clark, Kim Hill, Chris Laidlaw, Gordon McLauchlan, John Campbell and Russell Brown to North Korea where they belong.

Be brave and pass it on!

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Viva la revolution!


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