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Top 10 Reasons Helen Sent Trevor to Saudi Arabia

Top Ten Reasons why Helen Clark sent Trevor Mallard to Saudi Arabia Despite the Recent Bomings

1. Heather Simpson couldn't find Pete Hodgson in the power-crisis darkened corridors of the Beehive.

2. Given it's a desert country, there's little chance Mallard could 'sink' another $34 million into another stupid yacht race.

3. He's developed a cult following in Saudi where they think he's actually the craggy cop off 'CSI'.

4. So he can wear the special going-away gift Helen bought him: a fetching yarmulke.

5. Four letters: NCEA.

6. So he can talk to lazy, spoilt Saudi princes and get some handy tips for handling Judith Tizard.

7. To undergo intensive negotiation training with the Wahhabi mullahs because you never can be too ready for the next PPTA negotiating round.

8. There's no beer in Saudi Arabia, so there's little chance that Mallard will threaten to stick a beer bottle "where the sun don't shine" if he doesn't like the Saudi Education Minister. 9. New Zealand and Saudi Arabia have a common sporting heritage - neither has won the Rugby World Cup since oil prices fell below $US40 a barrel.

10. She decided that the people of Hutt South have suffered enough.

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