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Top 10 Signs Your 'Father' Might Be A Lesbian

Top 10 signs your 'father' (as defined by the government) might be a lesbian

1. He watches the BBC news with Anita McNaught on the off chance that "her marriage is a sham and she might yet become available".

2. Unlike real men, he actually does read Playboy for the articles.

3. You find out that he insisted on registering for wedding gifts at an adult sex shop, instead of perfectly good alternatives like Repco.

4. Plays rugby, but instead of a mouthguard wears a dental dam.

5. You're sure it was him you saw dressed up as Kim Hill in the Auckland production of the Vagina Monologues.

6. His Black and Decker Firestorm 12V cordless drill set has some rather unusual attachments.

7. He prefers reruns of Billie Jean King's 1973 tennis win over Bobby Riggs rather than any of Anna Kournikova's 'straight' set first round defeats.

8. He's been a master builder for 25 years but has recently renamed his company 'Tongue in Groove'.

9. When your parents divorce, the court gives your custody to the father.

10. He holds high office in the Labour Party.

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