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Top 10 Secrets Of Helen Clark's Success

Helen Clark is spending $19,000 of taxpayers' money to explain the secrets of her success in a 35 page glossy described by the New Zealand Herald as a "Helen-fest". (See… for the full story.) This week we bring you an exclusive scoop on the top 10 secrets of Helen Clark's success...

Top 10 secrets of Helen Clark's success

1. Miracle Airbrushing Services (Wgtn) Ltd.

2. Artfully balancing her career with a demanding family life.

3. The way her Chief of Staff is well positioned to meet her every need.

4. Her genuinely-held passion for rugby league.

5. The substantial body of scholarly works that "Dr" Clark produced during her years as a third rate academic at Auckland University.

6. Her ability to recognise a benign strategic environment when she sees one.

7. Mike Moore's retirement to the WTO.

8. Keeping in touch with ordinary Kiwi blokes like Peter Davis.

9. The straightforward manner in which she answers parliamentary questions.

10. Two words: focus groups.

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