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Top 10 Reasons Helen Clark Should Be The Next Pope

Top 10 reasons Helen Clark should be the next Pope

1. She passionately believes in the Holy Trinity: Helen Clark, Heather Simpson and Judith Tizard.

2. Celibacy won't be an issue.

3. She knows the pontiff's distant relative, David Benson-Pope.

4. Judith Tizard looks better covered up in a nun's habit.

5. She wouldn't have to travel so far to her favourite ski fields in the Swiss Alps.

6. Her office is just like a bishopric, even though there are no bishops in it.

7. Her ability to survive in the polls despite having Brian Edwards as her media advisor proves she's capable of miracles.

8. At least we'd know the altar boys would be safe.

9. Everyone knows the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel would look better with her signature on it.

10. She's used to people kissing her ring.

Be brave and pass it on!

St Molesworth www.geocities.com/stmolesworth

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