WH Sees Potential In UN Oil-For-Food Scandal
White House takes notice of the UN's oil-for-food scandal, sees potential
Cheney: 'Stick with me, Koffi, I'll show you what a real scandal looks like.''
Satire from… freepressed.com
Caption: UN Secretary-General Kofi Annan shakes the hand of Paul Volcker, the man leading the investigation into the UN OIl-for-Food scandal..
United Nations--- In light of the unraveling United Nations scandal involving kickbacks from corporations and individuals illegally buying oil from Iraq, Bush administration officials admit they had this international organization pegged all wrong.
"What we're finding out in this investigation is that the UN is vulnerable to corruption at the highest levels," Vice President Dick Cheney said. "We just might be able to play ball with these guys after all."
Cheney said he figured the leadership at the UN for a bunch of tattle-tells, prudes and ninnies, unwilling to bend the rules to forward the selfish agendas of the rich and powerful.
"To quote David Kay, 'We had it almost all wrong.'" Cheney said. "You're all right Koffi."
The Bush administration had been reluctant to give the UN more control of the political process in Iraq, fearing a legitimate, popularly elected government would object to the looting of the country's natural resources to enrich the American regime.
However, the revelation that Saddam Hussein received billions of dollars in oil revenue under the UN oil-for-food program opens the door for the new ruler of Iraq, the United States, to operate with impunity.
"If you thought Halliburton was getting away with murder before, just wait," Cheney growled. "Now that we know the UN is as crooked as we are there's nothing stopping us from gutting the entire region. Open the spiggets and bomb the brown fuckers! We own the place, now."
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