Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | News Flashes | Scoop Features | Scoop Video | Strange & Bizarre | Search

 


Mary Pitt: A Chat With Elizabeth (Dole)

A CHAT WITH ELIZABETH (Dole)


by Mary Pitt

Dear Elizabeth,

Oh, yes, it is now officially ''Liddy'', isn't it? You must excuse an old habit, it has been ''Elizabeth'' for such a long time. Well, I don't really mean a LONG time, actually much longer in my case than in yours. heh heh

I see they're putting you back on television now! I saw you on Chris Matthews last night and again this morning on CNN and you looked fantastic! It is simply marvelous that you epitomize the Southern gentility to which they must appeal in oder to gain the votes of others like you. After all those years of having to pose as a Kansan, it must be relief to be able to just be your sweet Southern self. And you are SO much easier to look at than that ancient Schlaffley creature!

As one "lady of a certain age" to another, the botox and collagen are doing a marvelous job of maintaining the results of your facial surgery. I also think the new hair-do is fabulous! The color hides the sallow skin tones and makes you look very little over forty!

By the way, I do think that you were a bit ingenuous in saying that John Edwards is too ambitious in running for the vice-presidency at such a tender age. If you aren't careful, people will begin to question the difference between his age and yours.

I did like the clever way you slid the lady-like hat pin between the ribs of a man whom you admit that you hardly know. You are, absolutely, the epitome of Southern gentility. I would be a bit careful on the "experience" issue, though. We both know that you would cinch up your corset, see the plastic surgeon for a touch-up, and toss your prettiest Sunday hat into the ring faster than Monica hit her knees if someone were to suggest you for the same job, and we know how much experience you have in "foreign affairs"! heh heh

I am afraid that our party is in for rather a hard battle this year. It is enough to have another "Kennedy Massachusetts Liberal" opposing us without that Edwards person stirring up the rabble with all his talk of "Two Americas". Not only do the Nigras insist on the right to vote, but now the working class are being roused to demand a "living wage" as well as health care provided by the employer! Why, if this movement is not stopped, our maids will expect to be PAID as well as being given room and board.

Well, I have decided not to worry overmuch! Already, the liberal media who thought that Kerry was so handsome and personable when he was running in the primaries against Clinton have turned agasinst him and refer to him as "wooden" and "distant". Why, some uncouth persons are referring to him as Lurch. Isn't that simply delicious? They are also calling Edwards an "ambulance chaser", heh heh That will help a lot to discredit them and we can let our own people keep the power which they have so richly earned.

Speaking of rich, I understand that our tax cuts will still be coming along right on schedule. And I hear that you also are getting a raise in pay. While I feel that you are much too genteel a person to be in the work force, I am sure that your little income will be of help to supplement Bob's retirement. I hope you will soon get that bothersome budget thing cleared up so you can go on "recess" and get some well-deserved rest in your Florida home. The Carolinas can be so boring in the off-season.

Best wishes and stay beautiful!

Buffy

************

Mary Pitt is a septuagenarian Kansan who is self-employed and active in the political arena. Having three generations of descendants, she feels obligated to leave them with the same rights and freedoms which she has so enjoyed.


© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Werewolf: Living With Rio’s Olympic Ruins

Mariana Cavalcanti Critics of the Olympic project can point a discernible pattern in the delivery of Olympics-related urban interventions: the belated but rushed inaugurations of faulty and/or unfinished infrastructures... More>>

Live Blog On Now: Open Source//Open Society Conference

The second annual Open Source Open Society Conference is a 2 day event taking place on 22-23 August 2016 at Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington… Scoop is hosting a live blog summarising the key points of this exciting conference. More>>

ALSO:

Buildup:

Gordon Campbell: On The Politicising Of The War On Drugs In Sport

It hasn’t been much fun at all to see how “war on drugs in sport” has become a proxy version of the Cold War, fixated on Russia. This weekend’s banning of the Russian long jumper Darya Klishina took that fixation to fresh extremes. More>>

ALSO:

Binoy Kampmark: Kevin Rudd’s Failed UN Secretary General Bid

Few sights are sadder in international diplomacy than seeing an aging figure desperate for honours. In a desperate effort to net them, he scurries around, cultivating, prodding, wishing to be noted. Finally, such an honour is netted, in all likelihood just to shut that overly keen individual up. More>>

Open Source / Open Society: The Scoop Foundation - An Open Model For NZ Media

Access to accurate, relevant and timely information is a crucial aspect of an open and transparent society. However, in our digital society information is in a state of flux with every aspect of its creation, delivery and consumption undergoing profound redefinition... More>>

Keeping Out The Vote: Gordon Campbell On The US Elections

I’ll focus here on just two ways that dis-enfranchisement is currently occurring in the US: (a) by the rigging of the boundary lines for voter districts and (b) by demanding elaborate photo IDs before people are allowed to cast their vote. More>>

Ramzy Baroud: Being Black Palestinian - Solidarity As A Welcome Pathology

It should come as no surprise that the loudest international solidarity that accompanied the continued spate of the killing of Black Americans comes from Palestine; that books have already been written and published by Palestinians about the plight of their Black brethren. In fact, that solidarity is mutual. More>>

ALSO:


Get More From Scoop

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news