Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | News Flashes | Scoop Features | Scoop Video | Strange & Bizarre | Search

 


October Surprise: Hummer Giveaway Extravaganza!

October Surprise: Hummer Giveaway Extravaganza!


"Freedom Guzzlers" to be given to every Bush voter at hundreds of official Hummer dealerships nationwide.
http://www.freepressed.com/


Hummer showrooms across the country have become official polling places as part of the Bush administration's Hummers-for-Votes scand...program.

Homeland, USA -- Undecided voters finally have a good reason to reelect President George W. Bush: free Hummers.

The Bush-Cheney 2004 campaign has teamed up with AM General, the division of General Motors that produces the vehicle, to offer this once in a lifetime special offer.

"There's no money down, 0% financing, and no monthly payments. All compliments of the GOP," explained Karl Rove. "You can vote as many times as you like, but please, only one Hummer per person."

With presidential tracking polls showing the race dead even just two weeks before the election, President Bush isn't leaving anything up to chance.

"This election is too important to put in the hands of citizen voters. This is a job for American consumers."

At his insistence, Congress even voted unanimously to rename the rugged off-road vehicles "Freedom Guzzlers."

"Our brave soldiers are fighting for our right to drive oversized, gas-guzzling, converted military vehicles," Bush said. "It stands to reason that every American outta have one. See, unlike my opponent, I don't subscribe to the soft bigotry of high gas mileage."

His strategy appears to be working.

So far record numbers have cast ballots during early voting. Tens of thousands of Americans who have no business voting are turning out in droves, and driving away in a new Hummer.


Classic Hummers in Grapevine, TX. is proud to do its part to reelect George W. Bush, and proud to be an official Freedom Guzzler dealer.

Sally Stevenson of Littleton, Miss. said this is a way for her to support the troops and George W. Bush at the same time.

"With the assault weapons ban lifted, driving a civilian version of the Humvee around Los Angeles is like driving through Baghdad in an unarmored transport vehicle. It makes me feel closer to our boys and girls in uniform," she said. "Plus I think our president is a godly man, who has done a wonderful job of protecting the homeland. Oh yeah, and Kerry's a flip-flopper."

There are some downsides to the Hummers-for-Votes initiative. For instance, road rage incidents have quadrupled in suburbs across the country.

Emboldened by the intimidating size of his supersized SUV, and confident in the righteousness of his presidential pick, Jay Moroney of Glendale, PA. rammed a hybrid Toyota through a guardrail, and over a bridge into a raging river basin.

"The America hater had a Kerry/Edwards sticker on the window. What was I supposed to do?"

Another cause for concern is the effect on the environment of unleashing so many vehicles on the road with such low gas mileage. Even more disturbing, several gas stations close to Hummer dealerships ran out of gasoline just hours after the promotion began, causing a riot in the quiet Phoenix suburb of Scottsdale, AZ.

Rove said these are minor setbacks that don't concern him.

"The important thing to remember is that now citizens have a reason to participate in this grand experiment we call American democracy."

**** ENDS ****

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Werewolf: Living With Rio’s Olympic Ruins

Mariana Cavalcanti Critics of the Olympic project can point a discernible pattern in the delivery of Olympics-related urban interventions: the belated but rushed inaugurations of faulty and/or unfinished infrastructures... More>>

Live Blog On Now: Open Source//Open Society Conference

The second annual Open Source Open Society Conference is a 2 day event taking place on 22-23 August 2016 at Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington… Scoop is hosting a live blog summarising the key points of this exciting conference. More>>

ALSO:

Buildup:

Gordon Campbell: On The Politicising Of The War On Drugs In Sport

It hasn’t been much fun at all to see how “war on drugs in sport” has become a proxy version of the Cold War, fixated on Russia. This weekend’s banning of the Russian long jumper Darya Klishina took that fixation to fresh extremes. More>>

ALSO:

Binoy Kampmark: Kevin Rudd’s Failed UN Secretary General Bid

Few sights are sadder in international diplomacy than seeing an aging figure desperate for honours. In a desperate effort to net them, he scurries around, cultivating, prodding, wishing to be noted. Finally, such an honour is netted, in all likelihood just to shut that overly keen individual up. More>>

Open Source / Open Society: The Scoop Foundation - An Open Model For NZ Media

Access to accurate, relevant and timely information is a crucial aspect of an open and transparent society. However, in our digital society information is in a state of flux with every aspect of its creation, delivery and consumption undergoing profound redefinition... More>>

Keeping Out The Vote: Gordon Campbell On The US Elections

I’ll focus here on just two ways that dis-enfranchisement is currently occurring in the US: (a) by the rigging of the boundary lines for voter districts and (b) by demanding elaborate photo IDs before people are allowed to cast their vote. More>>

Ramzy Baroud: Being Black Palestinian - Solidarity As A Welcome Pathology

It should come as no surprise that the loudest international solidarity that accompanied the continued spate of the killing of Black Americans comes from Palestine; that books have already been written and published by Palestinians about the plight of their Black brethren. In fact, that solidarity is mutual. More>>

ALSO:


Get More From Scoop

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news