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Saddam Requests Recount In Battleground Provinces

Saddam Requests Recount In Battleground Provinces


Blames poor showing in Sunday's election on anti-burka amendments on the ballots in those regions.
Satire from freepressed.com


CAPTION: Saddam Hussein thinks his campaign was hurt by his imprisonment by Coalition forces.

Sunni Triangle-- Deposed Dictator of Iraq Saddam Hussein contested the election results in several Sunni strongholds early Monday, just a hours after the polls closed.

Citing voter intimidation and the fact that actual battles were going on in the battleground provinces, Saddam demanded a hand recount in those regions, prompting Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi to offer this response.

"Hand recount? As opposed to what? Everything is done by hand here. Even if we had machines to count votes, that takes electricity."

Hussein's defeat at the polls, no doubt, came as a surprise to the ruthless former president who received 100 percent of the popular vote in the last election. Saed Mahadi, a political science professor at Baghdad University, was quick to offer an explanation.

"There were other candidates in this election."

It couldn't have helped that Hussein was discovered to be living in a hole in the ground under a rock for months after the U.S. invasion of Iraq, or that he had a fondness for beheading large segments of the electorate.

But all of that pales in comparison to one simple fact, says Mahadi.

"This wasn't a presidential election. This was to choose the assembly that will write the constitution. Saddam wasn't even on the ballot--idiot."

ENDS

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