Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search

 

You Want To Win A War Against Iran?


You Want To Win A War Against Iran?

By William Rivers Pitt,

Scott Ritter got everyone in a twist this weekend by announcing Bush has June plans to bomb Iran.

Crazy ol' Ritter, right?

A little less than two years ago, when the invasion and occupation of Iraq had just begun, Ritter went out in public and said we were going to lose the war. The invasion was over. We had Baghdad. The statues had been toppled. Everyone went "Whaaaaa?"

Two years later, and who's right? We sure as hell aren't winning in Iraq, and if we aren't winning, we're losing. Of course there's a chance Ritter is wrong. A good chance, actually. I have found out in recent months that it was an appalling breach of protocol for Ritter to talk to me for the interview we did for my book. You just don't tell the truth like that out loud, apparently, or so saith the diplomatic circles.

By this I mean: There is a good chance the inside people who used to talk to Ritter don't talk to him anymore, or aren't in the know anymore. Things change. So yeah, he could be wrong.

But I bet my reputation on him once. I'd be willing to do it again.

Meanwhile, I have a plan to win the Iranian War...

You want to win a war against Iran?

Easy.

All we need to do to overthrow the Ayatollahs, empower Sistani and electrify the moderates is give the people satellite TV broadcasts. Which means park one satellite over Iran and give them MTV 24/7/365. The mullahs won't know what hit them.

Seriously. The biggest cultural revolt in the last decade in Iran happened when a 'banned' comedy show was broadcast via satellite that mocked the mullahs and the religious authoritarianism. Everyone there has a dish. Everyone saw it.

One satellite, and the war is over. Free gas for everyone.

Kidding, but not. Something like 75% of the country is under 25, and a lot of them are into the West. Smart foreign policy for the Empire would involve taking 10 Iranian 20-year-olds on a speaking tour of the Mideast. They'd talk about how great the West is, and they'd mean it.

Smart foreign policy for non-Imperial thinkers would involve not dropping bombs on people, letting them worship as they please, and figuring out a way to run stuff without oil, but whatever. One satellite and the war is fought. Bechtel and Halliburton will just have to get into the windmill business.



© Scoop Media

 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

27-29 Sept: Social Enterprise World Forum Live Blog

1600+ delegates from more than 45 countries have came together to share wisdom, build networks and discuss how to create a more sustainable future using social enterprise as a vehicle. Attending the Forum were social enterprise practitioners, social entrepreneurs, policy makers, community leaders, investors, activists, academics and more from across the globe... More>>

HiveMind Report: A Universal Basic Income For Aotearoa NZ

Results from this HiveMind suggests that an overwhelming majority of Kiwis believe that due to changing circumstances and inefficiencies in the current system, we need a better system to take care of welfare of struggling members in our society. More>>

ALSO:

Scoop Hivemind: Medical Cannabis - Co-Creating A Policy For Aotearoa

Welcome to the fourth and final HiveMind for Scoop’s Opening the Election campaign for 2017. This HiveMind explores the question: what would a fair, humane and safe Medical Cannabis policy look like for Aotearoa, NZ in 2018? More>>

ALSO:

Lyndon Hood: Notes On National’s Election Campaign, In Poem Form

Nationyl’s bitumen-ing / As they du du / Seed groweth / River floweth / Then ‘dozer drives thru / Highway ensu. More>>