Top 10 ways Labour plans to lure young NZers back
1. Free passes to the Daryl Tuffey movie marathon.
2. Free leisure passport for Rotorua tourist attractions valued at 20 NCEA geography credits.
3. Government offers free LAV rental for first two weeks after arrival.
4. Free body armour to expats returning to live in the Counties Manukau Police District.
5. All gay returning expats to get a personal mention in Parliament from Winston Peters.
6. All returnees given Colin McCahon original signed by the artist Helen Clark.
7. Kiwis in Australia offered free ride home in decommissioned RNZAF Skyhawk.
8. A free subscription to the fabled Molesworth and Featherston "Actually written by Heather Simpson" Edition.
9. One in five chance to open the bowling for the Black Caps.
10. Arrivals get new passport stamp: Sucker!
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