Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | News Flashes | Scoop Features | Scoop Video | Strange & Bizarre | Search

 


Freepressed: Democrats Fiddle While GOP Burns

Democrats Fiddle While GOP Burns


"Opposition" party leaders unsure whether now is the time to go on the offensive
Satire from freepressed.com


DNC Chairman Howard Dean said strumming the guitar takes his mind off of all the hard work needed for the Democrats to take back power.

DNC Headquarters -- The cluelessness of the Democratic Party has hit a new high in recent weeks as it continues to demonsrate an astonishing inability to capitalize on the implosion of the Republican Party.

Despite multiple scandals, gross incompetence, blatant cronyism, and the simple fact that Republican elected officials are lying bastards, Democrats seem content to sit back and enjoy the show. Howard Dean explained his party's strategy before going into a rousing rendition of the Eagles classic, Peaceful Easy Feeling.

"It's a well known fact that when your enemy is hanging himself, the best thing to do is stay out of the way and make sure he has enough rope. That's more or less our plan."

But experts agree that the Democrats have a troubling history of giving their Republican counterparts so much rope that they are able to put their feet on the ground, walk away from the execution, and then use the rope to tie politically inept Democrats to their horses and drag them through town.


Senator John Kerry (D-Mass.) bored an entire convention center in Roanoke, VA. by playing the full-version of Hey Jude.

On Iraq, many Democrats have been hesitant to criticize the President's handling of the war for fear that they will have to offer an exit strategy of their own.

Former presidential candidate John Kerry, hamstrung by his vote for the Iraq resolution, tied himself into knots trying to explain what he would do differently in Iraq.

Kerry says he's getting out of the policy-making business all together so he can devote more time to his music.

"I'm starting a bi-partisan rock & roll band with John McCain called 'the Filibusters.' We're opening for Roger Clinton's band, so we might even get picked up by Hillary's fundraising tour that's set to kick-off sometime in 07'," he boasted. "Rocking across the USA sure beats saving it."

ENDS

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops Headlines

 

Werewolf: Living With Rio’s Olympic Ruins

Mariana Cavalcanti Critics of the Olympic project can point a discernible pattern in the delivery of Olympics-related urban interventions: the belated but rushed inaugurations of faulty and/or unfinished infrastructures... More>>

Live Blog On Now: Open Source//Open Society Conference

The second annual Open Source Open Society Conference is a 2 day event taking place on 22-23 August 2016 at Michael Fowler Centre in Wellington… Scoop is hosting a live blog summarising the key points of this exciting conference. More>>

ALSO:

Buildup:

Gordon Campbell: On The Politicising Of The War On Drugs In Sport

It hasn’t been much fun at all to see how “war on drugs in sport” has become a proxy version of the Cold War, fixated on Russia. This weekend’s banning of the Russian long jumper Darya Klishina took that fixation to fresh extremes. More>>

ALSO:

Binoy Kampmark: Kevin Rudd’s Failed UN Secretary General Bid

Few sights are sadder in international diplomacy than seeing an aging figure desperate for honours. In a desperate effort to net them, he scurries around, cultivating, prodding, wishing to be noted. Finally, such an honour is netted, in all likelihood just to shut that overly keen individual up. More>>

Open Source / Open Society: The Scoop Foundation - An Open Model For NZ Media

Access to accurate, relevant and timely information is a crucial aspect of an open and transparent society. However, in our digital society information is in a state of flux with every aspect of its creation, delivery and consumption undergoing profound redefinition... More>>

Keeping Out The Vote: Gordon Campbell On The US Elections

I’ll focus here on just two ways that dis-enfranchisement is currently occurring in the US: (a) by the rigging of the boundary lines for voter districts and (b) by demanding elaborate photo IDs before people are allowed to cast their vote. More>>

Ramzy Baroud: Being Black Palestinian - Solidarity As A Welcome Pathology

It should come as no surprise that the loudest international solidarity that accompanied the continued spate of the killing of Black Americans comes from Palestine; that books have already been written and published by Palestinians about the plight of their Black brethren. In fact, that solidarity is mutual. More>>

ALSO:


Get More From Scoop

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Top Scoops
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news