Top Scoops

Book Reviews | Gordon Campbell | Scoop News | Wellington Scoop | Community Scoop | Search


Stateside: World Affairs by the Numbers

Stateside With Rosalea Barker

World Affairs by the Numbers

(An imaginary 2007 phone conversation)

GB43: Hi Papa, howzit goin?

BXVI: Same old, same old. Whassup witchu, buddy?

GB43: Oh, you know, starting to think about what to take with me when I move south in ’09.

BXVI: Uh-huh. Nice Catholic country you’re going to. Couldn’t you have found some better neighbors than that Korean family?

GB43: Aww, they’re friends of my pappy, Papa. Kinda come with the territory.

BXVI: And with some media, so I suppose that’s okay. How’s things going for my visit next year?

GB43: Swell, Papa, swell. We’ve been letting one of them alleged child-abusing cults get a big presence down in my home state, so that at the time of your visit, I can get my buddies to raid them and take up all the airtime.

BXVI: Oh, nice one, G! Wouldn’t do to have the news focusing on how I’ve given Cardinal Law of Boston a free pass and a key to the executive washroom here in VC. I’ll get someone to knock off a few lines in a speech so I come across as listening and caring and that should about do it.

GB43: Works for me, every time! By the way, how’s things going with the Paraguay insurance plan?

BXVI: The renegade bishop?

GB43: Uh-huh.

BXVI: Coming along, coming along. We refused to recognize his resignation, so technically he’s infringing the Paraguay Constitution by running for President. After their ’08 election, things will go downhill fast and there’ll be plenty of reasons to intervene.

GB43: It’s all good, then!

BXVI: All good.

GB43: Gotta go. I’ve got a Constitution to infringe, myself. Paz y amor!

BXVI: Ha, ha! Peace and love? You are sooo funny, G!



© Scoop Media

Top Scoops Headlines


Scoop HiveMind Project: Universal Basic Income - Are We Up For It?

This is an opportunity for you as one of the 4 million potential funders and recipients of a Universal Basic Income to collectively consider the issue:
1. Is UBI is a desirable policy for New Zealand; and
2. How should a UBI system work in practice. More>>


Lyndon Hood: National Announces Plan To Hit Youth With Big Mallets

The National party has announced its youth justice policy, which includes a controversial plan for recidivist serious youth offenders to be hit over the head with a comically large rubber mallet. More>>


Lyndon Hood: This ->

It's been brought to my attention that Labour's new campaign slogan is "Let's do this". A collective call to action. A mission. I myself was halfway out of the couch before I realised I wasn't sure what it was I was supposed to do. More>>


Scoop Hivemind Report: What New Zealanders Think About Affordable Housing

Ordinary citizens have had very few venues where they can debate and discuss as to what they believe has led to the crisis in affordable housing and how we might begin to address this. The HiveMind on affordable housing was about redressing the balance. More>>


New Hivemind Exploration: Opening The Election - Freshwater Quality

This is an opportunity for you as one of the 4 million guardians of our common water resources to help us find mutually agreeable solutions to the critical task of collectively managing these resources for health and sustainability. More>>