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Lyndon Hood: Collins Crush!

Monday, 30 March 2009, 4:11 pm
Column: Lyndon Hood

Collins: Collins Crush!

Satire by Lyndon Hood
Judith Collins as
The Incredible Hulk

Collins ANGRY!

Collins hear car! It loud car!

Collins see boy in car!

Car shiny?

Car shiny!

Him BOY RACER!

Collins fine racer? No! Him not pay fine already!

Collins impound car? No!!

Collins Crush car! Collins CRUSH!

Why Collins impound when Collins can POUND?

Search New Zealand Business

Collins Smash! Collins Destroy! COLLINS CRUSH!! Rargh!!

Raaargh!!!

Teach him drive car!

Why everybody shout at Collins? Like when them say 'Public Safety' are only words Collins knows and Collins have simplistic view of Justice System.

That not true. Collins know many words. Have big vocabulary.

Collins not bad person. Just misunderstood.

Collins have feelings too.

Collins should get back rub?

NO!! Collins. Stay. ANGRY!!

If Collins get calm, Collins turn back to Simon Power. That no fun.

Here come man in suit. Him shout at Collins.

Rargh! Collins receive much positive feedback from electorate! Collins have mandate! PUBLIC SAFETY!!

Man have piece of paper. Say him have interest in car as finance agent.

Piece of paper make Collins ANGRY!

COLLINS CRUSH PIECE OF PAPER!!!

RAAARGH!!!

Teach him lend money finance car boy drive loud!

Here come reporter! Record Collins answers stupid questions!

COLLINS CRUSH TAPE RE --

[Transcript Ends]

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Trivia: According to her Facebook site, Judith Collins is a fan of Sarah Palin.

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