Correctives Discover Reason for Mass Chicken Deaths

Many people have wondered why certain chickens spontaneously combusted and turned into baked fast food on one North Island farm recently. The Correctives have investigated this problem, and we have startling news, involving genetic modification.

A shadowy figure resembling plucked and stuffed poultry, but with an arguably human head except for polyster hair was seen lurking in the vicinity of the farm. We have managed to use infrared surveillance cameras on the strange creature. Much to our horror, it bore an unearthly resemblance to Graham Capon, a leader of the Christian Haemorrhoid Poultry. Worse still, we discovered CHP membership cards.

We believe that the Christian Haemorrhoids Poultry in question took one good look at Capon, realised their future, and committed mass self-immolation in a moment of abject despair and horror at the consequences of genetic meddling! There are some things that man or chicken is not meant to know!

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