"The Christian Haemorrhoids are again applying their selective morality to the abortion issue." expostulated Sister Raptophilia SM, Matrix Dominatrix of the Corrective Party, at the latest meeting of POP (Protect Our Preconcieved) in a phonebox in Petone.

"POP stands for the rights of the ignored and vulnerable voiceless ones of our society, the unconceived!!! I know people say that a poor little unconceived sperm or egg only has half a human genetic code, but that is irrelevant, because it is still a human genetic code!!!" gesticulated the ardent SM nun.

"Every day, trillions of little unconcieved New Zealanders die from men's filthy habits of self- abuse, or have their brains busting out of their backsides as they impact on the walls of latex penile colonies!!! And ladies don't have clean hands in this either, because we flush a potential little unconcieved eggy person down the loo once every month!!! Masturbation and menstruation should be outlawed at once!!!" gushed the burly SM nun, who began POP's battlecry:

" 1 2 3 4 Don't you do it any more!!!
5 6 7 8 Death to those who masturbate!!!"

Sister Raptophilia
Matrix Dominatrix
(06) 3583609

© Scoop Media

Gordon Campbell: On the Sony cyber attack

Given the layers of meta-irony involved, the saga of the Sony cyber attack seemed at the outset more like a snarky European art film than a popcorn entry at the multiplex.

Yet now with (a) President Barack Obama weighing in on the side of artistic freedom and calling for the US to make a ‘proportionate response’quickly followed by (b) North Korea’s entire Internet service going down, and with both these events being followed by (c) Sony deciding to backtrack and release The Interview film that had made it a target for the dastardly North Koreans in the first place, then ay caramba…the whole world will now be watching how this affair pans out. More>>