Correctives: Exploding Cow Problem Spreads!!!
"The foot in mouth crisis in Europe is spreading, and so is the exploding cow problem, which we first noted in Vonarlburg, Austria. There is now one recorded British case of a bovine detonation, which splattered a farmhand." Sister Hydroponica, Agro Nun for the Corrective Party, stated today.
"However, there are rumours that it may not be as straightforward as that, for this gentleman was a member of the Preservative party in the eighties, and may have shaken hands with Mad Cow Zero/ Marghilda the Thatched, who may have been responsible for spreading the illness." The sister brandised a photo of Marghilda, and noted the overlap between her visits and Mad Cow outbreaks.
Sister Hydroponica concluded: "The lesson is obvious. All British Preservative advisors to Nationill and ARF should be immediately tested, especially if they've been on farmland. The Correctives agro policy calls for isolation for two years if a centre-right MP is found to be infected. However, judging by the performing dog ACTs of at least one MP, we suspect it may already be too late for some."