"The foot in mouth crisis in Europe is spreading, and so is the exploding cow problem, which we first noted in Vonarlburg, Austria. There is now one recorded British case of a bovine detonation, which splattered a farmhand." Sister Hydroponica, Agro Nun for the Corrective Party, stated today.

"However, there are rumours that it may not be as straightforward as that, for this gentleman was a member of the Preservative party in the eighties, and may have shaken hands with Mad Cow Zero/ Marghilda the Thatched, who may have been responsible for spreading the illness." The sister brandised a photo of Marghilda, and noted the overlap between her visits and Mad Cow outbreaks.

Sister Hydroponica concluded: "The lesson is obvious. All British Preservative advisors to Nationill and ARF should be immediately tested, especially if they've been on farmland. The Correctives agro policy calls for isolation for two years if a centre-right MP is found to be infected. However, judging by the performing dog ACTs of at least one MP, we suspect it may already be too late for some."

Contact: Sister Raptophilia
Matrix Dominatrix
Corrective Party
06 3583609

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Gordon Campbell: On the Sony cyber attack

Given the layers of meta-irony involved, the saga of the Sony cyber attack seemed at the outset more like a snarky European art film than a popcorn entry at the multiplex.

Yet now with (a) President Barack Obama weighing in on the side of artistic freedom and calling for the US to make a ‘proportionate response’quickly followed by (b) North Korea’s entire Internet service going down, and with both these events being followed by (c) Sony deciding to backtrack and release The Interview film that had made it a target for the dastardly North Koreans in the first place, then ay caramba…the whole world will now be watching how this affair pans out. More>>