Libz March For MayDay Capitalism
The "MayDay misanthropists" marched around the country yesterday, while Libertarianz activists taunted their tantrums with pro-capitalist signs and slogans, and gave out $100 (imitation) bills backed with praise for free minds, free markets and free trade. "We were not," smiles Libertarianz leader Peter Cresswell, "overly popular with the misanthropists, though we were well received by the many pro-capitalism onlookers who supported us in spirit and were disgusted by the antics of the rabble."
None of the anti-capitalists spoken to in any of the centres appeared to know what they were marching for, according to Libertarianz activists, although a discernible common denominator amongst the confusion and contradictions was a belief in bigger government. "What united the rabble though," notes Cresswell from Auckland, "was a common hatred for capitalism; all protestors agreed that capitalism is bad -- and all appeared against free speech - or at least speech that they disagreed with, like ours. ("We believe in free speech. Libertarianz, this is what we think of your pamphlet!" said one Wellington cheerleader as he burnt a pamphlet to cheers from the crowd.)
Moreover, every one of these people united in hatred of capitalism misunderstood the essence of the system they were criticising. As libertarian Tina White told one Wellington protestor: "If you knew anything about capitalism you’d know it is based on free voluntary exchange." Cresswell told Auckland protestors that "capitalism is all about a willing seller and a willing buyer engaging in voluntary trade. What is your problem with that?" he asked. "Fuck off!" was the most intelligent response he received. "It is hypocritical," says Cresswell. "They are protesting against free trade and prosperity, against the very things that could get people OUT of those foreign sweatshops they abhor. It is only income from trading their wares that will improve these sweatshops and the wages they receive. The best thing you can do for a foreign Nike worker," he notes, "is to buy more Nikes."
Nonetheless, the day was not wasted. Most Libertarianz still put in a good day's work around their counter protests. And most noted that their counter-protest had an effect far beyond their numbers: "When 200 or so people can get so riled up at the efforts of our small group, then you can tell you've taken the moral high ground," said libertarian Sean Kimpton, who with his fellow capitalists 'took' Auckland's Aotea Square. Standing in the centre of the Square, they waved their placards saying "Capitalism is Good!" and "We Like Free Trade" at the riled-up rabble, most of whom appeared bored at a long-winded lecture from Comrade Laila Harre on the Square's fringes.
Cresswell observed that the trend seems to be against the anti-capitalists: First, he says, their numbers appeared to be down on last year. Second, the public's widespread disdain for their misanthropy -- at least one MacDonalds restaurant targeted by the mob reported an "increased in lunchtime trade because people came in just to annoy the protestors." Third, "they are very, very boring."
He notes also a positive long-term trend which he says is an important measure of the decline of socialism's appeal. "When socialism was trendy, (remember that) such protests were 'cool' to be at because there was every prospect of getting laid by one of the nubile young women that once frequented such events. Not today. There was not one woman in the anti-life rabble on display that could have been considered as even marginally attractive to man."
Based on this simple test, and the number of attractive libertarian women, he concludes that the long term tend for socialist activism is down, and for libertarianism it is up. And who are we to disagree?
It's enough to make you vote Libertarianz!
For more information contact: Peter Cresswell LIBERTARIANZ LEADER Phone: (025) 861 927, e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org