Gordon Campbell | Parliament TV | Parliament Today | News Video | Crime | Employers | Housing | Immigration | Legal | Local Govt. | Maori | Welfare | Unions | Youth | Search


Brutish Elections And Hairstyle Issues!!!

Correctives: Brutish Elections And Hairstyle Issues!!!

"What are the lessons of the Brutish elections? Well, basically, the Brutes are not overly into spanking, as our sister Corrective Party failed to pick up the swinging male voter who wants to be disciplined by someone in a strange outfit." Sister Malaria, Acting Corrective Party spokesnun opined today.

"The other thing was the issue of gender confusion. Labour struck a deadly blow at the Selfservatives when they noted Mr Vagues plans for a post-election hair transplant to look more authoritarian. That particular hairstyle may have been seen as gender treachery which alienated born-again bottom spanker voters, as did the lenient attitude that the Selfservatives took toward Scotland, despite the perverted appeal of the kilted lifestyle to the susceptible!!!"

"We've seen that certain MPs of a canine persuasion and the Heir Repellant of the Nationill Party want to try and dissuade us of the lessons for New Zealand. Nevertheless, to the Correctives, it is obvious. Voters will not tolerate naughty gender frolics. At least we know Helen Clark is a real woman, and so what if she has no children??

Neither do we, and she is to be commended for not giving in to the forces of radical babyism now rattling the Untied States!!!" concluded the Acting Spokesnun for the Correctives.

Contact: Sister Malaria
Corrective Party Acting Spokesnun
(06) 3583609

© Scoop Media

Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines

Gordon Campbell: On Bridges’ ‘Meth Crooks’ Leadership Failure

Back in June, Bridges publicly accepted that Housing NZ had got it wrong, and that the National government had acted upon bad advice.

Now, you’d think this admission would create a broad bi-partisan basis for compensation to those families who had been unfairly evicted, at considerable cost and emotional distress. Some people had lost their possessions in trying to meet the expense of the upheaval.

Not everyone felt so compassionate. More>>


General Assembly: Ardern Rejects Trump Call For War On Drugs

New Zealand will not be signing the United States' document calling for global action on the war on drugs, Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern says. Ms Ardern is in New York for the United Nations General Assembly this week, along with about 140 other world leaders. More>>


Pay Equity: Cabinet Funds Deal For Oranga Tamariki Social Workers

The Minister said that an agreement in principle has been reached between Oranga Tamariki and the PSA on a settlement worth $114.6m over five years. More>>


Hunting v Pest Control: Tahr Control Needed To Protect Alpine Habitats

A cull of introduced Himalayan tahr browsing conservation land in Kā Tiritiri o Te Moana/ the Southern Alps is needed to protect special alpine plants and their habitats, Conservation Minister, Eugenie Sage said. More>>


Protest At Sea: Judge Discharges Greenpeace Activists

The judge today discharged Norman and Howell without conviction, saying the cumulative consequences of a conviction would be out of proportion to what was “low level” offending off the Wairarapa coast in April 2017. More>>


No Reshuffle: Meka Whaitiri Removed As A Minister

Meka Whaitiri will be removed as a Minister with immediate effect... The decision was made after receiving a report into an incident that occurred on 27 August in Gisborne, involving Meka Whaitiri and one of her staff. More>>


Asylum: Refugee Quota Increasing To 1500

“The quota increase will take place from July 2020. In the meantime, we will work to increase the number and spread of refugee resettlement and support services. We need to make sure we’re prepared for this change in policy.” More>>





InfoPages News Channels