Gordon Campbell | Parliament TV | Parliament Today | News Video | Crime | Employers | Housing | Immigration | Legal | Local Govt. | Maori | Welfare | Unions | Youth | Search

 


Correctives: Penguins quail at ch*c*l*t* addiction


Correctives: Penguins quail at ch*c*l*t* addiction!!!

"I'm quailing!!!" expostulated Tripitaka Adelie- Penguin, busy trying to evict Sister Mycocardial- Infarcta from the party's electorate offices in the Ross Dependency.

The Corrective Party's controversial Penguin MP today denied that any Adelie-Penguin hatchling had uncontrollable urges to run amok in schools and cause massive anarchy under the influence of illicit ch*c*l*t*:

"It's a lie, an absolute lie, and was obviously invented by those crazed nun violence advocates. Hah!!! They can talk!!! I mean, what sort of reputable religious order would accept Keth end Keem into its ranks, and do I ever mean *rank* in their case!!!"

Ms. Adelie-Penguin refused to comment on rumours that the Corrective Party organisation was trying to suspend her, preferably from on top of an iceberg somewhere in Antarctica far away from shipping routes.

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines

 

Wellington: Predator Free Capital Plan

Wellington City Council (WCC), the Greater Wellington Regional Council (GWRC) and NEXT Foundation, today announced a joint collaboration to make Wellington the first Predator Free capital city in the world. More>>

ALSO:

Gordon Campbell: On Judith Collins’ Efforts At Self Correction

Thousands of prisoners currently in prison may be entitled to an earlier release than expected – and compensation – because Corrections has incorrectly calculated their term of imprisonment. Unless of course, the government buries its mistakes by changing the law and retro-actively getting itself off the hook… More>>

ALSO:

More Justice & Corrections

Sector Opposes Bill: Local Government Bill Timeframe Extended

The Minister of Local Government Peseta Sam Lotu-Iiga has asked the Select Committee to extend the report back date for the Local Government Act 2002 Amendment Bill (No 2). More>>

ALSO:

Breed Laws Don’t Work: Vets On New National Dog Control Plan

It is pleasing therefore to see Louise Upston Associate Minister for Local Government calling for a comprehensive solution... However, relying on breed specific laws to manage dog aggression will not work. More>>

ALSO:

Not Waiting On Select Committee: Green Party Releases Medically-Assisted Dying Policy

“Adults with a terminal illness should have the right to choose a medically assisted death,” Green Party health spokesperson Kevin Hague said. “The Green Party does not support extending assisted dying to people who aren't terminally ill because we can’t be confident that this won't further marginalise the lives of people with disabilities." More>>

ALSO:

General Election Review: Changes To Electoral Act Introduced

More effective systems in polling places and earlier counting of advanced votes are on their way through proposed changes to our electoral laws, Justice Minister Amy Adams says. More>>

Get More From Scoop

 

LATEST HEADLINES

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Politics
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news