The New Write: Young Nats Newsletter
Official Newsletter of the New Zealand Young Nationals
17th February 2003
“For a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle." -Winston Churchill
New Write Uncovers Sas Movements 2. More Bureaucracy For Tertiary Education 3. Act Annual Conference: March 14th – 16th 4. France Labelled A “Second-Rate Country” 5. Hot Goss From Parliament 6. Top Ten Agenda Items At The Act Conference 7. Website Of The Week
NEW WRITE UNCOVERS SAS MOVEMENTS The National Party has continually questioned Helen Clark on the deployment of New Zealand forces overseas. According to Foreign Affairs Spokesperson Wayne Mapp; "The National Party stands with our people fighting the war on terrorism, when they go into danger they should have the full support of an informed public." However the intrepid reporters of the New Write can inform you that New Zealand forces continue the fight against international terrorism. An unnamed US source had this to say: "The New Zealand Special Air Service troops were especially good. They marched into the mountains for weeks at a time, and always seemed to return fatter, cheerier and with tales of ambushes and enemy dead." The New Write salutes our brave and unsung heroes. Source: http://www.washtimes.com/national/20030103-9789688.htm
2. MORE BUREAUCRACY FOR TERTIARY EDUCATION
The Government’s poised to add another layer of bureaucracy to our education system, according to National Party Tertiary Education spokesman Simon Power.
"I believe the Tertiary Education Commission, being officially launched will provide a mechanism for the Minister to interfere in the operation of our Universities and Polytechnics.
"We’re worried by the centralisation of control of tertiary education in the hands of the Minister. He now has complete command over funding mechanisms and potentially the kinds of courses he wants to see taught.
"The flow on effects from this are extremely worrying. I believe academic freedom and institutional autonomy are at risk. "Such a risk undermines the international credibility of New Zealand’s tertiary education system," says Mr Power.
3. ACT ANNUAL CONFERENCE: MARCH 14TH – 16TH
The ACT Party are holding their annual conference on the weekend of March 14th – 16th, at the Wellington Convention Centre. The conference will feature ACT President Catherine Judd presenting “The Liberal Project Phase II”. Richard Prebble and other ACT MPs will speak, along with plenty of workshops, and the special feature - Milton Freidman will speak live via video from Stanford University.
To register online or get more info go to www.act.org.nz. The conference is open to non-members.
Check out the top ten workshop items for ACT below.
4. FRANCE LABELLED A “SECOND-RATE COUNTRY”
A senior US Congressman has labelled France "a second-rate country" that should be left out of any future defence coalitions involving the United States.
Peter King (R-NY) accused France of using its influence on the United Nations Security Council and NATO to hobble international cooperation aimed at disarming Iraq.
"We may have to restructure NATO, and form a new alliance which the French will not be a part of," King said Tuesday. "We cannot allow a second-rate country to have a veto power or obstructionist power over American foreign policy."
King said France also was a hindrance to U.S. military intervention in Bosnia and Kosovo in the 1990s.
"France is posturing itself as a moral guardian, when they would have lost World War I, and they set a world record in World War II for the quickest surrender by a world power."
King said he has had "all these French people calling me up and attacking me" since making similar comments in a BBC radio interview late Monday night, in which he said the French could go to Iraq "to instruct the Iraqis in how to surrender."
King said he is not worried about offending French sensibilities because "they are yesterday's people."
The congressman's family is so upset about France's Iraq position that his wife and daughter recently cancelled a planned vacation to Paris, King said. -AP
5. HOT GOSS FROM PARLIAMENT
By Sneaky R. Wilson, New Zealand’s finest investigative journalist
Welcome back possums to another year of gutter journalism, sleazy slander and titillating tabloid trivialities. Remember to send your hot goss to mailto: mailto:email@example.com, and if you’re still not a subscriber, send an email to the above address and we’ll hook you up. For free!
*Former US Ambassador to New Zealand Carol Mosely-Braun has set up an exploratory committee to run for President in 2004. Ms Mosely-Braun is a captivating speaker, as Young Nationals will remember from their conference a few years ago, but given her dodgy connections to African dictators and a few domestic scandals her bid would seem a bit ambitious.
*One possible explanation for the poor performance of the Indian cricket team this summer – whilst staying in a respectable Auckland hotel over the holiday period an observer couldn’t help but notice a bevy of “ladies of the night” entering the rooms of several senior Indian players.
In fact, it was probably the only scoring some of these players were involved in all tour! Perhaps they should have sent some of their curries out to bat, at least they deliver the runs more regularly.
*Female MPs around Parliament are less than impressed with Donna Awatere-Huata’s stomach stapling operation after claiming in the media it was the result of diet and exercise. “You really should lose some weight,” she apparently told Green MP Sue Bradford after passing her in the corridor early last year.
*Uh oh, a rather naughty ex-TV journalist is in trouble with the police again, and his old rival TV network is planning to spill the beans big-time! Keep your eyes peeled.
In fact, what is it with TV journalists full stop? The amount of sleazy gossip I keep hearing from this profession is incredible. What a randy bunch they are.
*While Hot Goss is going from strength to strength, the same cannot be said for our lame rivals, Young Labour, who apparently do still exist. Barely though – after a peek at their mailing list I found that their official newsletter has just 28 subscribers. Oh dear.
*Caucus retreats are typically boozy affairs, and this year was no exception. In particular the Labour Party meeting at Premier House – I understand even the PM got seriously stuck into the booze!
*True story - two MPs were watching TV when one of those disturbing anti-drink driving ads came on. “I really hate those ads,” said the first MP. “So do I,” said the second. “They’re almost enough to make me stop drink-driving.”
*Look out, there are three or four extremely grumpy Labour MPs with a serious bone to pick with Helen Clark. She promised them last year that if they worked hard and kept their heads down they would be promoted in the 2003 cabinet reshuffle. So imagine their surprise when Helen suddenly announced to the media that there would be no reshuffle until 2004 at the earliest. Expect some fireworks from these MPs this year!
*Here’s a mystery for you – how many Maori MPs does ACT have? Three, according to Tariana Turia. She said in a statement last week that ACT’s other two Maori MPs had failed to support their colleague Donna Awatere-Huata. Who could they be?
I understand that Ken Shirley may have met a Maori once, but that’s about as close as it gets, I reckon.
*TVNZ is taking on a punt on two aging former radio stars, giving new TV shows to Kim Hill and Pam Corkery. As one observer put it politely, “They both have faces made for radio.” The same cannot be said for blond babe Ingrid “Heidi” Leary who is set to join TV3’s press gallery team, along with Stephen Parker.
*Spotted: this graffiti on a Wellington motorway - “Send Jonathan Hunt to Iraq as a weapon of Mass Consumption.”
*Winston Peters got stuck into new Labour MP Darren Hughes during his speech in Parliament this week, pretending to forget his name and asking other MPs who he was.
*Oh dear, Chris Carter has been having a rough time of it lately, humiliating himself and the Government at the Waitangi Day celebrations last week at Waitangi. Let’s count the gaffes:
Firstly, he babbled about an 1820 battle between two local tribes, and lamented the level of Maori violence between 1820 and 1830, offending the local iwi.
2. Then walked all over the kotahitanga (unity) flag, leaping off when yelled at by the audience.
3. Babbled about how proud he was of watching Maori people on TV.
4. And then finished it off by asking the audience to join him in “a nice Maori song,” po-karekare-ana, except he pronounced it “pie-karry-karry-ana”. He then produced a cringing performance of the song, before the audience mercifully joined in to rescue him.
Not Dover Samuels though – he made it clear how he felt about Labour’s official representative. He refused to stand and sing, and instead sat with his arms folded shaking his head in disgust. Several National MPs kindly offered Mr Carter singing and pronunciation lessons afterwards.
*And believe it or not, he matched this performance the following week by arriving late and through the wrong entrance for the official parade of the military services returned from East Timor. As a result, the red-faced Mr Carter had to sit in the only chair available, amongst opposition members, rather than with the official Government party.
*Since the scandals over United Future’s “Dr” Bernie Ogilvy and Kelly Chal, Sneaky R. Wilson has been having a look at the CVs of other MPs, and some of the exaggerations contained within. This week, let’s have a look at the CV of young New Zealand First MP Craig McNair.
According to Craig, prior to Parliament he was a “marketing manager” for a jewellery business. As I understand it, the firm is actually his parents – Mum and Dad found a job for him, along with a fancy title. And of course Craig still lives at home, and was home-schooled by aforementioned parents. Another interesting bit – Craig says at 17, he was part of an international group that went to Russia in “an initiative to restructure the emerging nation's education system”. So is he a high-powered international consultant? Er, not really. I hear it was a religious group singing songs to a few schools in Moscow.
As always, I am happy to be corrected, or to pass on any more info!
*And I reckon it’s worth checking out the background of some of the other new New Zealand First MPs as well. Dodgy with a capital “D”, according to my digging. Stay tuned for more details.
Till next week…My lips are sealed!
Email Sneaky at mailto: mailto:firstname.lastname@example.org
6. TOP TEN AGENDA ITEMS AT THE ACT CONFERENCE
How To Improve Reading Rates
At Schools Through Fashion Shows, by Donna Awatere-Huata.
2. Cooking Kiwi: Top Ten Easy Recipes, by Gerry Eckhoff
3. The Importance Of China In The NZ Education System, by Donna Awatere-Huata.
4. Dealing With Fame, by David Benson-Pope.
5. The Benefits Of A Good Diet And Exercise, by Rodney Hide and Donna Awatere-Huata.
6. Make Money The
Easy Way – How Pyramid Schemes Can Help You, by Rodney Hide
and Owen Jennings (Note: there is an admission fee of $500
for this workshop).
7. I’ve Been Thinking by Richard Prebble.
8. Beneficiaries For Soap: How To Solve New Zealand’s Unemployment Problem And Boost Exports, by Muriel Newman.
9. Why Being Investigated By The Serious Fraud Office Is Easier The Second Time Around, by Donna Awatere-Huata
10. Heather Coddington and Deborah Roy: How To Tell Them Apart, by Jonathan Hunt.
Alright, here’s another top ten list! This one from St Molesworth:
CHILDREN’S BOOKS ON THE PIPI FOUNDATION READING LIST
1. Donna Awatere-Huata and the Procrastinator's Stone.
2. Uncle Wi's Chinese Phone Bill.
3. Pipi the Selfish
4. Mummy, What Are 'Ethics'?
5. Auntie Donna's Big Trough.
6. Bad Belly the Stitch.
7. Wheeee! We're all off to Sydney!
8. The Little
Red Turncoat that Could.
9. One Little Piggie.
10. Bye Bye Black Sheep and Other Nursery Rhymes.
Courtesy of St Molesworth: www.geocities.com/stmolesworth
7. WEBSITE OF THE WEEK
Where you can read the full text of Bill English’s speech on the Treaty of Waitangi, and Don Brash’s speech on economic reform.
Any views expressed here are not necessarily those of New Zealand Young Nationals, or the New Zealand National Party.
Contributions, feedback, articles and subscriptions welcome. Email mailto: mailto:email@example.com
Editor: Grant Tyrrell