Don't ban alcohol biscuits, just don't eat them!
PRESS RELEASE FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Don't ban alcohol biscuits, Sue. Just don't eat them!
"Sue Kedgley should chill out and have a Kahlua bickie instead of trying to ban them" declared Libertarianz Spokesman on Fun Scott Wilson today. "She should be exercising her jaw in a more joyful way instead of once again taking her favourite 'b' word for a walk."
"Kedgley's predictably kneejerk call to ban biscuits with a trace of alcohol in them shows how utterly joyless she and the Green Party are.. The alcohol content of the Arnotts alcohol biscuits is so low that a person would have to consume their own bodyweight in biscuits within an hour to become intoxicated," points out Wilson derisively. "Yet Kedgley probably wants warnings on sugar and fat content of the biscuits as she acts as a self appointed food Nazi trying to tell adults what they can and can't do."
"People can choose whether or not to buy biscuits containing alcohol or fat or sugar, and they can choose whether or not to put them into their bodies. After all, they are their own bodies!" says Wilson. "Further, parents can choose whether they buy them for their children, just as parents have the right to choose whether their children can have a sip of wine at dinner. Has the joyless Kedgely got any right to decide for us? No, of course not," snorts Wilson.
Wilson points out alcohol is NOT inherently harmful just because a minority sometimes abuse it. "Millions of children have been raised happily and healthily with their parents offering them small quantities of alcohol, exposing them to a normal part of adult life and removing the "forbidden" nature of the substance."
"Libertarianz would leave choices as to what people ingest to the people who choose to ingest them, and let parents be responsible for what their children ingest. We tell joyless teetotalling wowsers like Sue Kedgley to mind their own business" concluded a departing Wilson, leaving biscuit crumbs behind him.
It's Enough to Make You Vote Libertarianz
Scott Wilson Libertarianz Spokesman on Fun PO Box 5515 Lambton Quay Wellington 021 934384
Libertarianz: More Freedom - Less Government www.libertarianz.org.nz