SOLO: The Phall of Phillida?
*SOLO-NZ Press Release: The Phall of Phillida? ** **By Lance Davey
November 15, 2007 *
"Former Alliance MP Phillida Bunkle has been charged with theft. If the charge be true, it would suggest old habits die hard. Phillida was always big on snouts in the trough of Other People's Money," says SOLO spokesman Lance Davey
"In this instance, it is alleged Comrade Carbunkle was apprehended leaving a store with a bottle of ginger wine and two blocks of coffee without paying for them. Caffeine! Alcohol! Oh, Phillida, you poor junkie-bunkie, why couldn't you have just come out and said you had a problem? Gone on *Campbell Live* and cried, and promised to get counselling? It's not your fault of course, it's the fault of all the nasty multinational corporations peddling their evil toxic wares on ignorant and innocent consumers, getting them hooked and slowly poisoning them to death.
"At times like this we must ask, WWJD? (What Would Jim Do?)
"Well, Jim Banderton has always known what to do: If it moves, *ban it*!!
"Today BZP. Tomorrow caffeine, alcohol ... and nicotine while he's about it!
"He'll protect you, Phillida. He'll protect us all.
"Whether we like it or not."
*Lance Davey SOLO-NZ Deputy Coordinator