Gordon Campbell | Parliament TV | Parliament Today | News Video | Crime | Employers | Housing | Immigration | Legal | Local Govt. | Maori | Welfare | Unions | Youth | Search


Santa checks UNFCC list & finds NZ's been naughty

Santa checks UNFCC list (twice) and finds New Zealand's been naughty

Today at his workshop near the North Pole, Santa Claus announced that he is planning to leave his home of many years because of the impact of climate change.

"This may be my last year of delivering Christmas presents because my ice runway has been getting progressively smaller and thinner making it more dangerous to take off. Now scientists are saying I may only have 5 years left of summer ice in my Arctic home" he said.

"Without taking urgent action to fight global warming, I will soon be forced to permanently flee the North Pole. I may soon be both jobless and homeless! It's not a very merry Christmas" he said.

"It may be too late for my home, but I don't think it is too late for the planet. If we can reduce emissions by around 25-40% we have a good chance of avoiding a two degree global warming and escaping runaway climate change.

However I am disappointed in how New Zealand is doing, in fact I have put the Government down on my naughty list.

I've checked New Zealand's list twice with the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (UNFCC) and it isn't good. New Zealand's emissions have increased 25 % on 1990 levels.

So I am planning to pack up my workshop and Mrs Claus and I will be moving, possibly to China where labour costs are considerably lower than elvish labour.

I won't be able to take the reindeer with me, they are just one of a number of species expected to be harmed by the effects of climate change, in fact a report in Nature puts the number at close to one million by 2050.


© Scoop Media

Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines


Ruataniwha: DOC, Hawke's Bay Council Developer Take Supreme Court Appeal

The Department of Conservation and Hawke's Bay Regional Investment Company (HBRIC) are appealing to the Supreme Court over a conservation land swap which the Court of Appeal halted. More>>


With NZ's Marama Davidson: Women’s Flotilla Leaves Sicily – Heading For Gaza

Women representing 13 countries spanning five continents began their journey yesterday on Zaytouna-Oliva to the shores of Gaza, which has been under blockade since 2007. On board are a Nobel Peace Laureate, three parliamentarians, a decorated US diplomat, journalists, an Olympic athlete, and a physician. A list of the women with their background can be found here. More>>

Gordon Campbell: On The Key Style Of Crisis Management

At Monday’s post Cabinet press conference Key was in his finest wide- eyed “Problem? What problem?” mode. No, there wasn’t really a problem that top MPI officials had been at odds with each other over the meaning of the fisheries policy and how that policy should be pursued... More>>


Mt Roskill: Greens Will Not Stand In Likely Post-Goff By-Election

“The Green Party’s priority is changing the Government in 2017, and as part of that we’ve decided that we won’t stand a candidate in the probable Mt Roskill by-election... This decision shows the Memorandum of Understanding between Labour and the Green Party is working." More>>


Wellington: Predator Free Capital Plan

Wellington City Council (WCC), the Greater Wellington Regional Council (GWRC) and NEXT Foundation, today announced a joint collaboration to make Wellington the first Predator Free capital city in the world. More>>


Gordon Campbell: On Judith Collins’ Efforts At Self Correction

Thousands of prisoners currently in prison may be entitled to an earlier release than expected – and compensation – because Corrections has incorrectly calculated their term of imprisonment. Unless of course, the government buries its mistakes by changing the law and retro-actively getting itself off the hook… More>>


More Justice & Corrections

Sector Opposes Bill: Local Government Bill Timeframe Extended

The Minister of Local Government Peseta Sam Lotu-Iiga has asked the Select Committee to extend the report back date for the Local Government Act 2002 Amendment Bill (No 2). More>>


Get More From Scoop



Search Scoop  
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news