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Ou Sont Vos Testicules, Monsieur Sarkozy?

SOLO-International Press Release: Ou Sont Vos Testicules, Monsieur Sarkozy?

August 14, 2008

Word has leaked from talks at the Kremlin that Le Petit Limp-Wrist Nicolas Sarkozy has stayed true to the quivering blood of his homeland and sold out a besieged nation, says SOLO spokesman Jeremy Johnson.

"Its seems not only can a rusting former superpower lurch into a sovereign nation intent on undermining any sense of safety, liberty and peace, it can demand that its actions be sanctioned by the entire civilized world, with the blessing of La France," Johnson says.

"Today, President Sarkozy, flying to and fro vainly attempting to garner some form of testicular fortitude and Western kudos for himself, has brought home the Russian message to a terrified Georgian populace: 'Their tanks are 40 kilometers from Tbilisi. This is where we are. Give up, lest you be crushed.' Appeasement has a name, and it's Little Nicky.

"Only a member of the EU could have the sheer temerity and foppishness to walk into the governing house of a reportedly free nation and utter such contemptible merde. The alleged truce's fifth point between Georgia and Russia gives the latter carte blanche to maintain its presence at its discretion, take whatever security measures it deems fit to secure 'peace,' and dictate the terms of its occupation to the Georgian people and the world. Only a Frenchman could dream of handing such a waste of paper over to a broken, suffering nation.

"The Georgian government has been unerringly correct on one matter throughout this ordeal: the United States and the UN have been despicably feeble in resolving the conflict. This is to be expected of the latter, but if another week passes without the government of the United States—specifically Secretary of State Rice—striding stiffly up to Comrades Medvedev's and Putins' respective villas and telling them exactly where to shove that disgraceful scrap of a Munich truce, the American people should welcome wholeheartedly the coming November regime-change in the United States of the kind that the Georgian people may never enjoy again," Johnson concludes.


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