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Robson-on-Politics - 27 August 2008

27 August 2008

National Looking for a New Theme Song based on the 1989 hit song Secret Love

A reliable source close to John Key has sent ROPs a tape of top level National discussions. The tape reveals that National, after Maurice Williamson decided to sing about the secret agenda on Agenda, has approached the company that owns the rights to "Secret Love" to see if National can obtain those rights in order to write a new version called "Secret Agenda". National has changed the first verse as follows:

Once we had a secret agenda

That lived within the heart of Key

All too soon our secret agenda

Oh, became impatient to be free

National has not however been able to come up with good rhymes for the succeeding verses and will be putting this out to the public for suggestions.

For the lines:

Now I told a friendly star

The way that dreamers often do

they have the words:

Now Maurice told a friendly interviewer

The way that schemers often do

But they are stuck for suggestions for the rest of the verse.

And for the lines:

Now I shout it from the highest hills

Even told the golden daffodils

They have the words:

Bill might as well have shouted from the highest hills

Told it all without the frills

So dear readers if you can help National out with a redraft of this popular song I will be certain to pass it along to John Key.

Maurice to tell all: Road Tolls, Private Management of State Schools and Hospitals

A number of commentators are suggesting that Maurice and National are not only enthusiastic about getting us to pay up to $50 a week for new roads but that state schools and public hospitals are part of the agenda as well. We should be very pleased that Maurice has joined other National politicians in providing more and more information on National's actual policies rather than those that their spin doctors have clearly been feeding to us. We know that Kiwibank is being lined up for sale ( eventually) , that four weeks annual leave is to be eroded , that KiwiSaver employer contributions will go and that in the mangled words of Lockwood Smith many other dead fish have had to be swallowed so more of the secret policies are likely to be thrown up in the near future. Watch this space!

Now where did I put that spare $100,000?

Winston Peters and his lawyer Brian Henry have provided great entertainment in the last week in front of the Privileges Committee. While most of us notice what happens to sums like $ 100,000 (Owen Glen) and $25,000 (Bob Jones) when we happen to get them (which may not be that often) these two merry men have a most cavalier attitude to such sums. These and others sums have passed backwards and forwards between a myriad of accounts at such a speed that it made them both quite dizzy and they lost track of what was going where, from whom and in to whose pocket. The complexity of accounts in the Winebox saga has nothing on this. It has been hard enough for Mr. Peters and Mr. Henry to remember which account the money from Glenn and Jones went to without having to recall what happened to the money from the Vela brothers of the racing industry and that from Simunovich Fisheries. Hopefully voters will relieve Mr. Peters of the need to seek donations after this election. But watch out for the sudden discovery of an immigrant group that threatens us and from whose machinations to destroy all we hold dear we can only be saved by voting New Zealand First.

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