Gordon Campbell | Parliament TV | Parliament Today | News Video | Crime | Employers | Housing | Immigration | Legal | Local Govt. | Maori | Welfare | Unions | Youth | Search

 


Poem tae a rat

Poem tae a rat

(Mr Key yesterday revealed he'd personally blocked recreational drug testing done on rabbits, but was open to using rodents.

"If it was a rodent, a rat, then I think most people would probably accept that as a step that you could take," he said on Firstline this morning.)

Poem tae a rat
( apologies to Robert Burns)


Wee sleekit cowrin, timrous beastie
O, what a panics in thy breastie
Thou maun needs awa right hasty
awa frae Johnnie Key!
He'll nae be laith to rin an' chase thee
Wi murd'ring prattle!
Comin' unapologetic
comin' aye unsympathetic
wi his smouldrin synthetic
tae test his shite on thee!

Had thou been a wee scrap bigger
wi langer ears and fuller figure
he'd nae fash thysel!
Had thee a but a furry scut
winkin' cutely frae thy butt
Thou'd be safe an soun!
the ignorant hae lang had habit
tae hate rat an luv the rabbit

But Ratty, thou art no thy lane
in bearin' politicians pain
the present only toucheth thee
Och rat, I backward cast my e'e
On Tory prospects drear
An' Labour, tho I canna see,
I guess an' fear!

Ends

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines

 

Gordon Campbell: On Bank Scandals (And Air Crashes)

Last month, the Australian Securities and Investment Commission (ASIC) filed proceedings against Westpac over activities that have some distinct echoes of the Libor scandal. More>>

Budget: Health Funding Must Keep Up With Need

NZNO: “The nursing team has been doing more with less for years. It’s getting to the point that we’re really worried about our colleagues, our patients, our jobs and the level of health care available for people in our country." More>>

ALSO:

Emissions Inventory: Time For The Government To Do The Right Thing

It’s time for the National Government to step up and do the right thing to reduce climate pollution as data shows New Zealand’s greenhouse gas emissions are higher than ever, the Green Party said today. More>>

ALSO:

Budget 2016: More Partnership Schools To Open

Seven new schools will join the eight Partnership Schools already open, along with further new schools opening in 2017. “The growth of this policy is a reflection of the high level of interest from educators and community leaders,” Mr Seymour says. More>>

ALSO:

No Correspondence With English: Did Brownlee Make Up Sale Of Navy Ships ‘On The Hoof?’

Having revealed that several Royal New Zealand Navy vessels have not left port in years, New Zealand First is now asking the Minister of Defence to prove he did not come up with the idea of selling HMNZS Taupo and Pukaki until the media asked him. More>>

Housing Plans: Labour- Abolish Auckland Urban Boundary
The Government should rule out any possibility of an urban growth boundary in Auckland Council’s Unitary Plan if it is serious about fixing the housing crisis. More>>
Greens - State House Solution
The Homes Not Cars policy allows Housing New Zealand to retain its dividend and, in addition, would refund its tax, to spend on the emergency building of around 450 new state houses. More>>

ALSO:

Houses And Taxes: Post-Cabinet, Pre-Budget Press Conference

The Prime Minister said that the pre-budget announcements showed that his Government is “investing in a growing economy”. He re-affirmed the National Government’s commitment to lowering personal tax rates but that any such change must fit with the fiscal reality of the time. More>>

ALSO:

Get More From Scoop

 

LATEST HEADLINES

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Politics
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news