Poem tae a rat
(Mr Key yesterday revealed he'd personally
blocked recreational drug testing done on rabbits, but was
open to using rodents.
"If it was a rodent, a rat, then I
think most people would probably accept that as a step that
you could take," he said on Firstline this morning.)
tae a rat
( apologies to Robert Burns)
sleekit cowrin, timrous beastie
O, what a panics in thy
Thou maun needs awa right hasty
He'll nae be laith to rin an' chase
Wi murd'ring prattle!
comin' aye unsympathetic
wi his smouldrin synthetic
tae test his shite on thee!
Had thou been a wee scrap
wi langer ears and fuller figure
he'd nae fash
Had thee a but a furry scut
frae thy butt
Thou'd be safe an soun!
the ignorant hae
lang had habit
tae hate rat an luv the rabbit
Ratty, thou art no thy lane
in bearin' politicians
the present only toucheth thee
Och rat, I
backward cast my e'e
On Tory prospects drear
Labour, tho I canna see,
I guess an'
© Scoop Media
Issue 49: Werewolf Weekender
Philip Matthews: From The Lost Continent
It’s a case of better late than never for Olivier Assayas’ marvellous After May/Apres Mai, which first screened at Venice in 2012, had a couple of North Island screenings last year during the International Film Festival’s “Autumn Events” season, got a theatrical release in Australia – but not here – and only now appears on DVD, after Assayas himself has moved on. More>>
The Complicatist: Blue Eyed & Soulful
For a while in June, the top two singles on the US Billboard charts featured Iggy Azalea, an Australian model turned hip hop performer. To some, this may seem like just the latest chapter in a long saga of whites ripping off black culture, while enriching themselves in the process. Obviously, there’s some truth in the stereotype. Yet it can also obscure the positive collaborations – in jazz, soul music and hip hop – between musicians who treated each other as creative equals, race regardless. More>>
Satire: Carry On Captaining
Oh hello. Scanner Technician Davis. To what do I owe the pleasure?
You think we’re what?
Oh, pish. This vessel has been travelling along smoothly for generations – particularly smoothly in the last few years though I say so myself – and I happen to know we have never once been hit by an asteroid... More>>