Gordon Campbell | Parliament TV | Parliament Today | News Video | Crime | Employers | Housing | Immigration | Legal | Local Govt. | Maori | Welfare | Unions | Youth | Search

 


A Call To Arms

[via Facebook]
ATTENTION FANS AND CONSTITUENTS: THIS IS A CALL TO ARMS (AND PEOPLE):

Good morning, nation. Over the last week, the Civilian Party has been hard at work putting together our final application for registration with the New Zealand Electoral Commission, a process that will allow us to contest the party vote nationally, and restore this country to its former sort-of-alrightness.

This has been a strenuous task, one that involved countless hours of sleep, and even more staring at the television while groaning and occasionally punching a few numbers into a spreadsheet. Indeed, after being pushed to such limits, we are now more than certain we are prepared for the colossal workload that will be entrusted to us as the future Government of this realm.

The bulk of our task these last couple of weeks has consisted of tallying and vetting every one of the hundreds of membership forms that we received from around the country. It is my wish that I could personally thank each and every one of you – from the elderly who braved the use of an electronics payment system, to the man who very generously sent us oral lubricant – and it is my hope that, when this workload has blown over, I will be able to.

But alas, there is also a downside to this story. The final tally of our membership has been significantly reduced by a large number of erroneous applications; perhaps quite a few more than expected.

While some membership applications seemed perfectly legitimate at first, as was the case with one Mr. Cock Balls, they began to show signs of difficulty upon further inspection. Mr. Balls, for example, claimed that he was born next year, which leads us to only one conclusion: he is too young to be eligible to join our party.

It is with a heavy heart that we decided we could not accept these applications, nor could we accept any of the 62 separate applications from Mr. Donghau Liu, with whom we have no relationship that we presently remember*.

Our final tally of paid-up members comes to 445, just 55 short of the 500 we need to register with the Commission. This is where you come in.

You will have to forgive our lack of eloquence on this Thursday morning, in part because we have a cold, but also in part because this message is urgent enough that we need to get it out there as quickly as possible.

We need any of you – any of you – who support the causes this movement represents, and who have not yet joined the party, to sign up today at www.thecivilianparty.org.nz/join-us/.

If we cannot secure the remaining 55 members we need, the future of our political movement is in serious jeopardy, and not the kind where we get to go on TV and give Alex Trebek fun answers in the form of questions.

But this isn’t merely a one-sided deal. As a political party thoroughly committed to your interests and ideals, we want to make you the following promises if we are successfully registered with the Commission.

If it reaches 500 financial members, the Civilian Party will:

- Stand in national elections, and field multiple candidates.

- Run advertisements on television, radio and small, obnoxious portable billboards.

- Hold an annual AGM, the first of which will take place in August, where members can attend and have their say on party finances, the party platform and candidates.

- Attend any and all televised minor party debates, whether invited or not.

- Ice cream.

Nation, we have come so far, and gotten so close. All that we need now is one final push; just a few more. This is your chance to make a real difference; your choice to become a member will literally help decide the political landscape going into this year’s election.

If you’ve already joined, we love you, but we ask you just one more thing: find just one person you know, and sign them up today. If a mere eighth of you did this, we would already be there.

To those of you who’ve sent us messages and inquiries, and haven’t yet received a response, hang in there. We’re getting to you, and once this application is over and done with, we intend to respond to everyone we can; which should, theoretically, be everyone.

The moment that we can verify that we have the numbers, we will inform you all immediately that New Zealand is moving confidently towards a brighter future, like a moth to a flame. Thank you once again for bringing us this far

© Scoop Media

 
 
 
 
 
Parliament Headlines | Politics Headlines | Regional Headlines

Parliament Today: State Opening Of Parliament

The House sits at 10.30am today before MPs are summoned to hear the Speech from the Throne in the Legislative Council Chamber.

The speech delivered by the Governor-General on the Government’s behalf outlines its priorities for this Parliament.

After this MPs will return to the House for the presentation of petitions and papers and the introduction of any bills.

The Government has five notices of motion on the Order Paper which can be debated. These relate to relating to the appointment of the Deputy Speaker, Assistant Speakers, the reinstatement of business in a carryover motion and one on “Entities to be deemed public organisations”. More>>

 

Tertiary Education: Students Doing It Tough As Fees Rise Again

The Government is making it increasingly difficult for Kiwis to gain tertiary education as fees continue to rise and access to student support becomes even more restricted, Labour’s Tertiary Education spokesperson Chris Hipkins says. More>>

ALSO:

Housing, Iraq: PM Press Conference – 20 October 2014

Prime Minister John Key met with press today to discuss:
• Housing prices and redevelopment in Auckland
• Discussions with Tony Abbott on the governmental response to ISIS, and New Zealand’s election to the UN Security Council More>>

ALSO:

Labour: Review Team Named, Leadership Campaign Starts

Labour’s New Zealand Council has appointed Bryan Gould as Convenor of its post-General Election Review. He will be joined on the Review Team by Hon Margaret Wilson, Stacey Morrison and Brian Corban.

ALSO:


Roy Morgan Poll: National Slips, Labour Hits Lows

The first New Zealand Roy Morgan Poll since the NZ Election shows National 43.5% (down 3.54% since the September 20 Election). This isn’t unusual, National support has dropped after each of John Key’s Election victories... However, support for the main opposition Labour Party has crashed to 22.5% (down 2.63% and the lowest support for Labour since the 1914 NZ Election as United Labour). More>>

ALSO:

In On First Round: New Zealand Wins Security Council Seat

Prime Minister John Key has welcomed New Zealand securing a place on the United Nations Security Council for the 2015-16 term. More>>

ALSO:

TPP Leak: Intellectual Property Text Confirms Risk - Jane Kelsey

The US is continuing its assault on generic medicines through numerous proposed changes to patent laws. ‘These are bound to impact on Pharmac if they are accepted’, according to Professor Kelsey... Copyright is another area of ongoing sensitivity... More>>

ALSO:

RMA: Smith Plans Reform To Ease Urban Development

Newly appointed Environment Minister Nick Smith has announced Resource Management Act reform to foster urban development, where high land prices and expensive resource consents are blocking efforts to provide affordable housing. More>>>

ALSO:

Gordon Campbell: On New Zealand getting involved (again) in other people's wars

Apparently, the Key government is still pondering how New Zealand will contribute to the fight against Islamic State. Long may it ponder, given the lack of consensus among our allies as to how to fight IS, where to fight it (Syria, Iraq, or both?) and with whose ground troops, pray tell? More>>

ALSO:

Gordon Campbell: On child poverty, and David Shearer’s latest outburst

The politicisation of (a) the public service and (b) the operations of the Official Information Act have been highlighted by the policy advice package on child poverty that RNZ’s resolute political editor Brent Edwards has finally prised out of the Ministry of Social Development. More>>

ALSO:

Gordon Campbell: On the government’s review of security laws

So the Key government is about to launch a four week review of the ability of our existing legislation to deal with “suspected and returning foreign terrorist fighters, and other violent extremists.”

According to its terms of reference, the review will consider whether the SIS, GCSB and Police are sufficiently able right now to (a) investigate and monitor suspected and returning foreign terrorist fighters… More>>

ALSO:

Get More From Scoop

 

LATEST HEADLINES

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Politics
Search Scoop  
 
 
Powered by Vodafone
NZ independent news