G8 Shifted Location Of Soccer Game
PRESS RELEASE - For immediate use
Contrary to popular rumour, today's soccer game in Cuba Mall between the G8 and "People United" was not cancelled because of poor weather, but was in fact relocated to a secret underground location to avoid protestors.
Referee Monty Burns said that "holding the match in secret was essential to safeguard democracy and the efficient management of a global economy". Ross Gardiner, left-winger for People's United, replied saying that "Regardless of match fixing we will continue to play as a team against the G8 and other institutions of capitalism".
Although People's United had trained hard for the match, it was eventually abandoned due to the excessive use of force by G8 cheerleaders Mike Moore, Bill Gates, Hugh Fletcher and Tipene O'Regan. The G8 then used the legitimate self-defence of the People's United as a pretext for shifting the game elsewhere.
People's United responded by giving away food and leaflets in Cuba Mall where they were joined by about 40 fans. Indymedia commented on the days events by saying that social stuggle is a game of two halves, and that we would need to wait till the WTO meeting in November to see who will be the winner on the day.