Fox Cease-&-Desist Order On Hitler Youth T-Shirts
It was, apparently, just a matter of time. Our company, Agitproperties LLC, the Austin progressive counter-propagandists responsible for the nationally-famous FAUX NEWS Channel, P.N.N. (Pentagon News Network) and Bill O'Reilly Hitler Youth Tee-shirts, has been issued a cease-and-desist order by FOX NEWS HQ in New York.
As you know, we have an huge, unavoidable red and white disclaimer clearly stating that our tee-shirts are political parodies and we are not connected or endorsed by FOX NEWS in any way. It is on every page of the site and takes up a quarter of each page.
Despite these enormous disclaimers, Chris Silvestri, Senior Media Council for Fox News, tells us that, "The Fox News Channel is in no way affiliated with the Website and, by creating confusion as to the relationship between Fox's programs and the Network, you harm the goodwill (goodwill??? Ed.) represented by Fox's program."
As for creating confusion in the minds of Fox News viewers, we digress - we're sure he knows the intellectual level of the average Fox News viewer better than we do.
Our Bill O'Reilly Hitler Youth Tee doesn't even have the word "Fox" or "Bill O'Reilly" on it, yet according to Mr. Silvestri, "The T-shirt 'O'Reilly Youth Tee', in addition to the infringements described herein, shows incredibly poor taste on your part, is highly offensive and clearly demonstrates your bad faith use of the Fox Copyrights and Trademarks."
Now isn't that a hoot: to be accused of "incredibly poor taste" and being "highly offensive" by a representative of the network responsible for such benchmarks of good taste such as "Temptation Island 3", "Joe Millionaire" and "Stupid Behavior Caught On Tape".
Folks, the irony is so thick around here you can cut it with a knife.
Date: Thu, 19 Jun
2003 14:53:04 -0400
Subject: UNAUTHORIZED USE OF FOX NEWS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY
June 19, 2003
VIA REGULAR US
MAIL AND EMAIL
Re: Unauthorized Use of Fox News Network Intellectual Property
Dear Sir orMadam:
Please be advised that Fox News Network, LLC ("Fox") is the exclusive owner of all copyright, trademark and other intellectual property rights associated with the Fox News Channel (the "Fox Copyright and Trademarks").
Accordingly, no entity and/or person
whatsoever, other than Fox, is authorized to reproduce,
transmit, copy, telecast or otherwise utilize all or any
portion of the Fox Copyrights and Trademarks without the
express written permission of Fox.
It has recently been brought to our attention that your websitewww.agitproperties.com ("Website") is selling merchandise bearing the Fox Copyrights and Trademarks, without Fox's permission either expressed or implied. Fox has not authorized your use of any Fox Copyrights and Trademarks.
We demand that you immediately cease displaying and selling merchandise on the Website. Fox is particularly concerned that its intellectual property not be used in a manner that will likely lead to the impairment of the goodwill represented by the name "Fox News Channel," as well as the likelihood of confusion as to an affiliation with and endorsement of the Network.
Your usage of Fox Copyrights and Trademarks may confuse consumers about who is authorizing the Network and/or endorsing the statements made on it. Therefore, you are hereby put on notice that this unauthorized use of Fox's proprietary materials constitutes trademark/copyright infringement and potentially subjects you to both criminal and civil liability.
Your use of the Fox News Copyrights and Trademarks is clearly done in bad faith. The Fox News Channel is in no way affiliated with the Website and, by creating confusion as to the relationship between Fox's programs and the Network, you harm the goodwill represented by Fox's program. Furthermore, the T-shirt "O'Reilly Youth Tee", in addition to the infringements described herein, shows incredibly poor taste on your part, is highly offensive and clearly demonstrates your bad faith use of the Fox Copyrights and Trademarks. It is our belief that the Fox Copyrights and Trademarks were used for no purpose other than the commercial gain of the Agitproperties, LLC and the Website.
While we expect that you will want to accede to our requests, please understand that if you do not cease and desist any further use of the Fox Copyrights and Trademarks on the Website without delay, we will be forced to consider appropriate legal action against you.
Please confirm that you will comply with our requests by contacting the undersigned immediately upon receipt of this letter. This letter is not a complete statement of the rights of Fox in connection with this matter, or of Fox's potential claims against you, and nothing contained herein is intended, nor should be construed as an express or implied waiver of any rights, remedies, or defenses of Fox in connection with this matter, all of which are expressly reserved.
- Fox News Network, LLC