The ManBank
Press Release
19.10.05
The ManBank
From out of the dating wilderness come Angela Aphrodite Troy and Cleo Jane Matahari with Wellington’s latest dating phenomena The ManBank.
Are you sick of the 2am
scramble?
A victim of The Man Drought? Tired of all the
good ones being taken? Love dating?
Then look no further than The Manbank.
What is The ManBank you
ask?
The ManBank are dating specialists offering
comprehensive and exclusive representation in New Zealand’s
world of dating.
How does The ManBank work?
To
quote Michael Jackson in his formative years, it's as easy
as A... B... C...
A. Single, hot, heterosexual men deposit
themselves as collateral into The ManBank’s
burgeoning coffers.
B. Single, hot, heterosexual ladies
open a ManBank account for a nominal fee.
C. The
ManBank organises the dates.
Complete confidentially assured. From there The ManBank Manager with the assistance of her highly trained ManBank Tellers will collate the collateral (the men) and the account holder details (the women) and using their amazing powers of matchmaking, facilitate short term withdrawals from The ManBank. Collateral becomes the property of The ManBank after a 12-hour period, unless sparks fly.
We at The ManBank are aware that sometimes people need a little helping hand in the daunting world of dating. So, as part of our services and commitment to getting New Zealand dating, The ManBank Staff will provide flexible and comprehensive dating packages to best suit your needs. A courtesy follow-up call by The ManBank Customer Service Staff will occur after the 12-hour period to assess interest levels.
We are committed to ensuring maximum return for your investment.
Thank you for your interest in The Man Bank. Please don’t hesitate to contact us if you have any questions. We look forward to pimping you out.
For further information please contact:
ENDS
GUYS – are you wondering where all the
ladies are?
GALS – are you sick of all the good ones
being taken?
Are you dateless due to the MAN
DROUGHT???
Whatever your dilemma, The ManBank is here to here to help.
What is The ManBank you ask?
The ManBank
are dating specialists offering comprehensive and exclusive
representation in New Zealand’s world of dating.
How does
The ManBank work?
To quote Michael Jackson in his
formative years, it's as easy as A... B... C...
A. Single,
hot, heterosexual men deposit themselves as collateral into
The ManBank’s burgeoning coffers.
B. Single, hot,
heterosexual ladies open a ManBank account for a nominal
fee.
C. The ManBank organises the dates.
Complete confidentially assured.
Simply fill out the form – Collateral Assessment for the blokes, Account Application for the sheilas. Please be comprehensive and truthful with your details.
On receipt of your completed form a ManBank Customer Service Staff representative will contact you to organise a face-to-face appointment with The ManBank Manager. The Manager will make sure you are not a killer or ryhipnol pusher or are laden down with way to much baggage, and of course discuss your dating needs.
LADIES – Open
your ManBank account in October for FREE!!
As a special
introductory offer, for the entire spring-fever month of
October, we are waiving the $20 ManBank account fee for the
ladies.
Feel free to pass our information onto your friends... the more the merrier where The ManBank's concerned.
We look forward to hooking our ladies up and pimping our boys out!
Your friendly divas of dating,
Angela Aphrodite Troy
ManBank
CEO
themanbank@gmail.com
Cleopatra Jane
Matahari
PA to The ManBank CEO
themanbank@gmail.com
Disclaimer:Although The ManBank expects daters to adhere
to The ManBank Dating Code of Conduct,
we accept no
responsibility for dud dates.
The ManBank
TESTIMONIALS
The ManBank has many happy customers, but
we’d like to particularly thank the daters below who have
volunteered to write down their experiences.
I’d been
dateless for months and more than just a little frustrated.
Was I to be another victim of the New Zealand man drought?
It wasn’t until I opened my ManBank Easy Dater account that
I discovered just how much fun dating could be! My calendar
is no longer empty and drab, it’s chock full of excitement.
I can set how many dates I want and the friendly ManBank
Staff make sure that I always have a great date any night or
day of the week. Thank you ManBank you’ve saved my dating
bacon!
Flora Greenwood
PR/Communications Rep,
Northland
‘I used to be too shy to date. Often I’d be
passed over for my more extroverted friends. But then I
opened my Once-Is-Never-Enough Dater account at The ManBank.
They took all the embarrassment and extroverted friends out
of the equation. Now I just turn up and there’s always a
hot, fun, interesting date waiting for me. I’ve never had a
dud from The ManBank. This is the best investment I have
ever made!’
Coco Agnew
Policy Analyst, Ministry of
Health, Karori
‘I met Angela Aphrodite Troy, The ManBank
CEO, out socially recently. I chewed her ear off about the
lack of women in town. I told her how I’d been out earlier
that week, had money in my pocket and I’d made an effort in
the hope that I might stumble across some lovely ladies. But
I was bitterly disappointed. Seemed to me all the ladies
were at home, watching dvd’s and crying into their duvets
about this man drought tosh. So, you can imagine how excited
I was to meet Ms Troy and hear about The ManBank. I
deposited myself on the spot and can’t wait to
begin.’
Jake Collingwood
Builder, Berhampore
‘I was
terrified when my friend opened up a Risk Taker account for
me at The ManBank. I’d never really done the dating thing
much before and I was really nervous. But my first date from
The ManBank, was awesome. We drove to Martinborough for an
afternoon and had heaps of fun. I remembered Cleo Matahari –
PA to The ManBank CEO’s great advice and really made an
effort to enjoy myself. I now wonder why I was so pig-headed
about not dating in the past. If you’re a bit unsure, don’t
sweat it! The ManBank is for you.’
Deidre
Vauxhaul
Personal Trainer,
Mirimar