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Rock around the Bitchmas Tree At Bats

The World Recording Breaking and Holding

Real Hot Bitches Dance Troupe
Present their next hit show

Rock around the Bitchmas Tree
Bats Theatre
November 27, 28, 29 at 10pm.
Matinee Saturday 29 at 4pm.
Tickets $20

Last Christmas Santa elves overheard careless whispers on the factory floor; Mrs Claus was up to no good. The spirit of Xmas had departed her heart and poor Santa was left alone. Luckily this Xmas Santa wised up and approached the Real Hot Bitches to rock around his Bitchmas Tree.

Unsurprisingly being in close proximity to so much lycra, Santa has discovered a new talent, one that he can bust out on the 364 nights of the year when he is not working, the long forgotten skill of Air Saxophone.

Written by Desaree Knightshade Rock around the Bitchmas Tree stars Debrelle Van Haler as Aunty Entity, Pearl Lusta as Xtina -evil gang girl, Lee Roy Swazye and Tiffney Jovi Harket as themselves, Emilo as Santa and a supporting cast of 30 Real Hot Bitches.

Rock around the Bitchmas Tree is everything you have ever wanted and more in a festive good time.So grab your eggnog, position yourself under the mistletoe and witness dancers more real than MSG, hotter than the Sun and oh so bitchin' the Real Hot Bitches Dance Troupe.

Who are the Real Hot Bitches?

Think Dirty Dancing meets Flashdance meets Footloose meets The Solid Gold Dancers meets you in your lounge when you were 11. Real Hot Bitches love dance routines and have a real fondness for legwarmers and sweat bands and Lycra G Strings. They have no training as dancers but what they lack in technique, boy do they make up for in PASSION!

Originated in August 2005, by Bitch-Mistress Angela Meyer and Dance-Bitch Rosie Roberts. Since then they have pushed it at numerous festival and gigs, busted out moves with Juliet Lewis and the Licks and they recent broke the world record for the largest synchronized dance routine at the Body Festival in Christchurch.

Profiles of Key Bitches

Desaree Knightshade writer of Rock around the Bitchmas Tree.
Desaree Knightshade is living on a prayer, when she's not livin on the wrong side of town, or putting out fires with gasoline. She dedicates her moves to all those who walk around town in their own music video. She wants to make a million dollars, and live out by the sea, she's a maniac on the floor, and always, always works hard for the money.

Emilio as Santa
After a year with the Real Hot Bitches as a makeup caddy and lycra laundry boy, Emilio was thrust into spandex tights when he was not looking and the rest is sweaty dancing history. While far from his roots in Wainuiomata, Emilio does not forget and dedicates his performance to Little Timmy and the other Wainui orphans.

Lee Roy Swayze as himself
Lee-Roy Swayze has been dancing professionally since the age of 4 when he won the inaugural series of "Dancing with Pre-adolescents". He spent his teens in rehab for various addictions but cleaned himself up in order to attend the Julliard Academy where he produced an acclaimed dissertation entitled "Word Up: The hidden link between dance and spelling".

Pearl Lusta as Xtina
Since discovering she was not the lead in this year's hit show, Pearl has been suffering from Post Dramatic Stress Disorder. Her symptoms include, but are not limited to, a severe allergic reaction to lycra andfuckyoudesireeyoudontknowtalentwhenyouseeit-itis The prognosis is not good. Without your adulation she WILL die. Give her the gift of life.

Tiffney Jovi-Harket as herself

Fresh from her solo, autobiographical gala showcase Glass In My Stilettos¹,
based on her Mormon modeling career in Salt Lake City, Utah, Tiff is fit.
[$1 from your ticket goes to the Tiffney Jovi-Harket Charity for Polygamist Families Affected By Climate Change]

The Mistress of the Bitches Candy Le Coque

Candy is hot. She is smokin'. Mark Sainsbury told her on national TV, not once, but twice. He wants to be Candy's man. Candy is thinking about it. Fame costs and maybe Sainsbury's paying.


© Scoop Media

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