'Bradford and Goliath’ Strangling Competition
The Otago University Students' Association (OUSA) will hold a student strangling competition at 2 pm tomorrow instead of its earlier planned forum with Mr Bradford, the Minister of Tertiary Education.
Mr Bradford reneged last month on his promise to speak to Otago students after an unfortunate incident when he accidentally throttled a Canterbury student.
To commemorate this act of bravery by a leading government minister OUSA intends to run a ‘Student Strangling’ competition where Max Bradford lookalikes compete for prizes to see who can strangle OUSA President, Steve Day, or President-Elect, Andrew Campbell.
As well as being judged on realism and enthusiasm for the strangling, contestants will also be judged on the arrogance of their post-strangling interview and their subsequent absence from any public appearances during the election campaign.
“Obviously students would have preferred the opportunity to hear Mr Bradford speak on all the shiny new tertiary policies that he has in store for us,” said Steve Day, “but fear of maiming further students has prevented him from attending our campus. Instead, to prove that our drama department is of an equal if not better standard to that in Canterbury, we are offering our students a chance to show what they are made of during our reenactment of Bradford and Goliath ‘the $3 Billion Dollar Debt’.
Judges will include that perennial proctorial preventer of violence on Campus, Mr Ron Chambers and hopefully some political candidates from the coinciding Political Candidate debate taking place within the University Union.